The Hardest Thing About Parenting This Week

Posted by  | Sunday, April 20, 2008  at 10:54 PM  
Being that Laney is 16 months and three weeks old this week, AND being that I just started a temporary long-term sub position until the beginning of June, I'm finding it difficult to keep fresh goods in the house, so as to prepare nutritious meals for Laney, as well as for my husband and myself. I'm talking more on the lines of steaming my carrots, making my yogurt and soon making my own bread. Thankfully, by the time my grain comes in, I will only have two weeks left of my sub position. These things require more time in the kitchen, but are the best things I can give my family. My heart really goes out to working Moms. I've learned so much in this temp job. My ultimate plan is to plan a meal out for the whole month, making week one, match week three and week two, match week four. I have been insipired by two friends of mine, Gi and Beth. They are really good at this, and I hope to master this as well. Granted, they aren't working a part-time job at the same time, but I could be WAY more organized than I am concerning preparing food for my family.

I'm also trying to read up in my new book, "Nourishing Traditions" and just haven't found a lot of time lately. I'm in one of those "reading" moods all the time and always end the day with trying to squeeze even a page or two in while laying in bed with tooth picks holding my eye lids open. It's a recipe book, but the first sixty-five pages are packed full of unbelievable information that's vital for me to learn how to change my old habits into nutritious and life-giving habits for my family.

To put more focus on Laney, the hardest thing has been leading her well in the area of trasitioning from one thing to the next. She's at the age where she has preferences now and wants to express herself. One story comes to mind. When we are running errands or if I take her from playing outside to putting her into the car seat, she has an absolute throw down, with screaming, a stiff body and an arched back to accompany. This doesn't happen all the time, but enough for me to realize its frequent occurence. As her Mommy, I'd like to spend more time teaching her about transitioning from one thing to the next. Of course, when I see her temper tandrum, I think of how to discipline in the moment, which is necessary, but ideally I'd like to invest some time on preventative measures. As a teacher, I tell my students, "Class, you have five more minutes until clean up." I give them a head's up as to what to expect. But I have not done a good job in doing the same with Laney. To her, these transitions are so abrupt and cruel, for I immediately take her away from what she loves with no ease of transition. She's not thinking about having to be at church in fifteen minutes or not missing a flight. It sounds so logical to me, and I immediately think of how she shouldn't be responding the way she does in these moments. Granted, she should obey no matter what, but I would like to seize those teachable moments to help her obey. Am I leading her well? That's I know I need to invest more time in this area. I really want to do my best to lead her and help her understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Being that she's almost 17 months, I think I could start some cue words to help her prepare herself to leave or "change the scenery". Usually, it's pretty much the same words I say to my classes in a transition time. If she's old enough to express that she doesn't want me to take her away from playing with the steering wheel only to be put into her car seat, then she's old enough to understand cue words.

Thanks for reading! Have a fabulous week!


Shannon said...

Hmmm, Hollie, I know what you're talking about. Maggie definitely has her own opinions as well. (Gee, I don't know where she gets that from...? :))

Transitions are certainly important, especially for small kids. Maggie always does so much better when she knows what to expect, though sometimes I don't do such a good job of preparing her.

We don't use any special cues (maybe some other moms on here can help you there); we just tell her plainly that (for example) we're going to read one more book and then bedtime. Or we're going to pick one more flower, and then we're going inside...

But one thing we have worked on for several months is training her to obey - the first time we tell her something.

It is so important to us that she understand she must be submissive to us, and obedient, no matter if we've given her sufficient transition preparation or not. Because, truthfully, we don't always have a chance to transition; sometimes we just have to leave the park now; or sometimes we just have to pick up the play-doh now. And while it's not always important that she pick up her books the first time I tell her, it IS important that she come to mama right away, when I call her back from heading towards the parking lot.

And honestly, having a wonderful transition doesn't always guarantee that she isn't going to throw a tantrum when we leave the park, or come in from playing outside. We all what we want, when we want it; that's part of our humanity.

It's my job and Jeff's job to train her to be joyfully submissive in the small things (like picking up her toys), so she can be successful at the bigger things, like holding mom's hand when we're in the parking lot, instead of pulling her hand away in independence.

I don't know if this is helpful for you, but do know that you're definitely not alone!! :) You're a good mom, and I know that your prayers and your consistency will help Laney in learning lessons that will last a lifetime!

Love you!

Hollie said...

Awesome reminders!!! Thanks so much! You're EXACTLY right! You hit the nail on the head sister.
I totally agree with you that you must expect immediate obedience, despite how abrupt it is. I would just like to spend some time teaching her new words to help her obey more. Thank you again girl for the advice!!! You're awesome!

Krista said...

I LOVE seeing that picture with you milling wheat!!! I'm so excited about you making bread and I also want to hear your meal plans for the month because I need some fresh ideas. Thanks for sharing!


Hollie said...

It IS so exciting to see those grains turn to flour. When I get the menu down, I'll post a sample, how about that?

Shannon said...

Hey, ditto on the meal plans - I'm desperate for ideas... I feel like I'm making the same things over and over again! :)

The Simple Shepherdess said...

I've been grinding our wheat and using a menu for a while now. It has been such a blessing for our family. It has certainly taken a bit of transition and getting into the habit of doing it differently, but it is worth it! I'd say after 3-4 weeks I'm in the habit and things are running smoothly.

I'm inspired now to go blog about my Bread Baking adventures and maybe I'll have to post my menu/grocery list spread sheet!

Leah said...

Hey Hollie - it's so awesome to see the way your family is growing in the area of nutrition. Very exciting!

One thing we do with Samuel is tell him "we're leaving in 5 minutes. 1-2-3-4-5. 5 minutes." Then I tell him again at 2 minutes and 1 minute. Even if it's not a literal 5,2,1 minutes (which, at 20 months, he doesn't understand anyway), it gives him the idea that we are winding down with one activity to go on to the next.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...