Choosing permanent birth control

The below story was emailed to me from my friend (and the wonderfully named), Leah Thomas. I hope you find her story helpful and encouraging.

I am a wife to a wonderful husband and am a mother of two amazing little boys.  One of my sons, Joseph, is 3 years old and the other one, Isaac, is 9 months old.  I work from home as a wedding planner and I run a reasonably successful wedding venue.  My husband, Joe, and I are also in the early stages of planting a church in the Central Florida area. 

My husband and I have not chosen the path of permanent birth control.  However that is not to say we would never.  Stating that I know now that I will never be in a situation that might lend me to question the wisdom of having more children down the road is a statement I am not willing to make.  I hope I never have to ask that question, but I will not say never.  I love and am completely and totally smitten with my children and would potentially love to have more.   

My parents however did make that choice.  I have a younger brother and it is just the two of us siblings.  My mother began having strange symptoms after I was born and they continued on through her pregnancy with my brother.  She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  MS can take many different forms and the severity is very different for everyone.  My mother had an extremely progressive form of the disease and was wheelchair bound in just a few short years after diagnosis. 

MS complications caused her very sudden death three years ago.  I say sudden because we weren’t expecting it right then.  However, through most of my childhood she was in and out of the hospital and it was always in the back of our minds that she would die young and possibly at any time.  The uncertainty of her life expectancy combined with the difficulty of living life with, for her, a paralyzing disease is one that made them question the wisdom of having another child. 

It was an extremely difficult decision for them, but it was unclear what the strain of another pregnancy might do to her system and she was in “survival mode” trying to raise two young children.  So they chose a permanent form of birth control.  They say hindsight is always 20/20 and I believe she would say she was devastated to have never been able to have more children, but that she did best for her family.

My parents were amazing examples of how to live by faith and demonstrated Christ centered lives.  Both of my parents believed that children are a gift from God and they also believe that God is sovereign in all things.  That does not mean that there is never a time to pray and seek God’s will for your family as it pertains to planning when and if it will grow.

Love for the Big and Small by Kevin DeYoung

This article is from The Gospel Coalition and written by Kevin DeYoung. My sister in law, Brandy shared it on Leah's post below. Perfect for our discussions this week, so I wanted to share! Because of the first line in his article below, I've included the entire article. You can find the original post, here. Let us know what you think!

Love for the Big and Small
by Kevin DeYoung

Feel free to make copies of this article and pass it out to your friends. Feel free to post this on Facebook, mention it on Twitter, link to it on your blog. If you are part of a church with young families I promise this essay will be relevant.

I want to talk about the size of our families. More importantly, I want to talk about loving as we want to be loved and giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

Scripture says the human race should be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28; Mal. 2:15). Children are always seen as a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5; 128:3-4). Church growth happens evangelistically and covenantally. So I like big families. My wife and I are on our way to a big family with four little ones already. In pre-marital counseling I challenge newlyweds to think through the reasons for birth control (which I am not against) instead of just assuming it. I warn against the abortifacient possibilities of taking the Pill. I try to dissuade most young couples from the notion that they have to be married for several years before they start a family. I am pro-children big time.

But this does not mean I am anti-small family. All else being equal, I’d encourage Christians to have more than two kids (keeping above the replacement rate). But all else is not equal. There are simply too many things I don’t know about other couples to even dare to judge. I don’t know how difficult it can be too get pregnant or how difficult the pregnancies are. I don’t know the financial situation, the medical history, the family pressures, the cultural expectations. I don’t know what their kids are like, their marriage, or their attitude before the Lord. I don’t know what other God-glorifying, self-sacrificing, world-serving opportunities they are praying through. So when we see faithful Christians with two kids or ten kids, we should praise God and assume the best.

And yet, any pastor paying attention to the hearts and hurts of his church, will tell you that there is a lot of tension around the size of our families. Here is an opportunity for the devil to work discord among us. But here also is a wonderful opportunity to love our neighbors as ourselves and open wide hearts and affections to families that look different than ours (Matt. 22:39; 2 Cor. 6:11-13).

Think of all the trouble we get into in the church, and on this issue in particular, because we assume the worst. Big families assume smaller families are being selfish. Smaller families assume big families are out to prove something. Parents assume their children are rejecting their choices when they make different ones. Children assume their parents would have acted like them if they were more spiritual. And everybody assumes everybody else is assuming something about them!

This is not the way of 1 Corinthians 13 love and it has to stop. Let’s assume the best of each other on this issue and not assume we’re being judged because someone else feels strongly about the way they do things.

And let’s be sensitive to the feelings of others rather than sensitive to perceived sleights and offenses. In some churches women may feel a pressure to be pregnant. Maybe the pressure is stated, maybe unstated, maybe it’s inaccurately perceived. But it is felt, so let’s be careful not to add to the pressure. In a church where literally dozens of women are bursting at the womb almost constantly and all the talk is about latching, stripping membranes, and other pleasantries we must be careful that young women who aren’t pregnant don’t feel inferior or out of place. I can just about guarantee they feel that way already, so you’ll have to go out of your way to welcome, affirm, and include.

On the flip side, there’s no good reason—certainly no biblical ones—why families with five, six, seven, ten, or fifteen kids should be made to feel strange. There’s no need for comments like, “Really, another one?” Or, “Wow, he can’t keep his hands off you!” Those comments are hurtful, and so are the eye rolls and exasperated sighs and suspicions. Let those who have eight kids not judge those who have two, and those with one child not judge those with six.

And let me throw out one other verse while I’m at it: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). For most Christians there is almost nothing as joyful as having a baby, and almost nothing as painful as being unable to do so. This leads to lots of awkward church lobby deliberations: “Should I tell her I’m pregnant? She’s been trying for so long, my news will just make her sad. But if I don’t tell her she’ll find out eventually and be hurt that I didn’t mention anything. Maybe I’ll tell her privately. But then that will make her feel singled out. What to do?” There is no solution to this problem. Infertility hurts and babies can make it hurt more. But a step in the right direction is God’s command in Romans 12. Let every young lady rejoice with her friend’s pregnancy and let that same friend weep when her sister in Christ hasn’t or won’t experience the same joy.

I don’t pretend to get all this baby stuff right. I’m sure I’ve been woefully insensitive at times. I’ve probably made silly “you get pregnant around here just by drinking the water” jokes that have been quietly unhelpful. I need God’s help too. But as a pastor I try to set the right tone, dial down the tensions, and encourage every man and wife to assume the best (and assume everyone else is doing the same). It doesn’t make all the tensions go away. But I’m hoping it will help us love each other’s families, the small and the big, in big ways and small.

Random thoughts on birth control

Disclaimer: the big Finnlings woke up with a stomach bug this morning that laid them OUT and so my grand plans for putting together a more 'formal' blog post before they woke up didn't happen. I really should plan ahead more! Meg and Christina have already given us so much to think about, pray about, and discuss with our husbands in regards to birth control. I am grateful for Christina reminding us of this article on Desiring God's website: Does the Bible permit birth control?. After reading over it, I had to pull a few quotes that stood out to me:

The Bible nowhere forbids birth control, either explicitly or implicitly, and we should not add universal rules that are not in Scripture (cf. Psalm 119:1, 9 on the sufficiency of Scripture). What is important is our attitude in using it. Any attitude which fails to see that children are a good gift from the Lord is wrong.

Just because something is a gift from the Lord does not mean that it is wrong to be a steward of when or whether you will come into possession of it. It is wrong to reason that since A is good and a gift from the Lord, then we must pursue as much of A as possible. God has made this a world in which tradeoffs have to be made and we cannot do everything to the fullest extent... And for kingdom purposes, it might be wise to regulate the size of one's family and to regulate when the new additions to the family will likely arrive. As Wayne Grudem has said, "it is okay to place less emphasis on some good activities in order to focus on other good activities."

Although it is true that "blessed is the man whose quiver is full of [children]," we need to realize that God has not given everyone the same size quiver.

God is just as much in control of whether you have children when you use birth control as when you don't. The hands of the almighty are not tied by birth control! ...The "trust God, therefore don't use birth control" thinking is based upon the incorrect assumption that what happens "naturally" reflects "God's best" for our lives, but that what happens through human means does not.

I will be honest and tell you that Nathan and I do not have a concrete decision about the number of children we want to have. I love how as soon as one child is born people start asking if you are "done" or if you  want to have more. That is not a flip decision, people:-) These things must be weighed, and prayed over (and over and over) and discussed. I am grateful that the article above reminds us God is the one in control of all matters.

A couple of other random things to point out (some very important, some not so much):
*Birth control, according to Wikipedia, is an umbrella term for several techniques and methods used to prevent fertilization or interrupt pregnancy. So though our brains automatically jump to "you must be talking about the birth control pill", a discussion about birth control means all methods including natural family planning.
*A decision about birth control is not essential to your salvation. Having children (be it 1 or 20) WILL NOT save you. And deciding to prevent or delay childbearing WILL NOT condemn you. We are already condemned because of our sin nature and sinful actions. We are saved through the life-giving blood of Jesus Christ that he offered for us on the cross. We do not deserve it, and can do nothing to earn our salvation--it is because of God's grace that we are saved. Remember that when engaging in discussions with friends, family members, co-workers, your spouse!
*Two negative side effects of a hormonal birth control pill that are not discussed before you start taking it: weight gain, and loss of your sex drive. Though each pill affects people differently, after talking with several of my friends, I was surprised to hear that many women gained a little bit of weight when they went on the pill--only to lose it when they came off. I was on the pill for 3 years, and the month I came off the pill I dropped 5 lbs (I am not big, and it was very noticeable when I gained it and lost it!). The biggest side effect of the pill that I did NOT know was happening was a reduction of my sex drive. Because the pill regulates your hormones, it often suppresses your natural sex drive. Trust me, you don't want this to happen! I was shocked and pleased at the difference in my desires once I came off the pill (honest truth: so was my husband :-).

These are a few of my random, unorganized thoughts about birth control. Thank you as always for reading. Please feel free to 'chime in' with any thoughts, concerns, opinions, or stories. We love to hear from you! You can see past blog posts on Birth Control under that label on the right-hand menu. And don't forget:


Would anyone like to write a guest post about what they chose as far as permanent birth control? Or why you did not choose this option? Please email us if you would like to share.

Three is enough for me!

Ok, so it hasn't always been enough for me! Being content with my three beautiful babies has not come quickly or easily. The number of biological kiddos in our family was decided for me earlier this year. In some ways, I'm grateful. My pregnancies are not easy and though I desire more children, its probably best that I don't put my body through that again. But that decision isn't up to me anymore! In addition, my husband and I don't have to wrestle with considering more permanent birth control options (vasectomy, tubal ligation or newer methods like Essure). On the other hand, I've grieved a little over Anna being my last baby. This fact however, has led me to savor more moments with her as well.

(Oh yeah! Thanks for voting in my STTN poll! I should go add my vote for Anna. She has started sleeping from about 7pm-7am at 4 months old. Praise the Lord. She is still crying some at bedtime, but once she's down, she's down. And I'm much more rested as well!) 

In January of this year, I had my last remaining ovary removed. My first was removed in July of 2010 when it was found to have a tumor on it. I'm not sure I ever updated, but after that first surgery my right ovary was found to have similar looking cyst/tumor on it as well. My doctors were still watching it when I got pregnant in October of 2010. They had advised against pregnancy, though in the words of my OB, "No one can tell you NOT to get pregnant." Yes, doc, we know! :)

My husband and I got to the point where we both felt very strongly that we needed to completely give this area over the Lord if we thought he might want more kids for us. I was able to conceive with just that one, tumor filled ovary. And my OB was quite shocked when I called, just three weeks after his above comment, to schedule my first prenatal appointment. :)

I had my last ovary removed when I was 18 weeks pregnant. We are so thankful that the Lord allowed that surgery to go smoothly and that he sustained the life of our sweet Anna. We were actually able to find out we were having a girl two days before the surgery. Sweet providence indeed!

I do still have my uterus, so after this last complicated delivery my OB was sure to warn me with, "Don't you even think about putting any donor eggs in that uterus!" Ha! (I'm not even sure that's possible...)

We do think this is the Lord's way of leading us to adoption at some point down the road. We will not rule out that possibility, though we aren't actively pursuing it at this time. Still praying about it and waiting to get my hands on this book! Just the other day, Adeline and I had this conversation even though I've never directly discussed any of this with her...

A: Mommy, I really want a baby brother. But you can't have one. 

Me: Do you mean you wanted Anna to be a boy?
A: No, I want Anna AND a baby brother. But you can't have one.
Me: Why can't I have one?
A: Because the doctor cut your tummy and now you can't have anymore babies.

At this point, I'm wondering how much else she knows about this topic...I didn't think this conversation had to happen until at least a few years past her wise age of THREE! The last thing she added was:

"I know! I'll just get a baby brother another day!"

Maybe we just will, sweet Adeline! :)

If you're curious as to my take on birth control prior to having my ovaries removed, I wrote about it here. It includes links to a wonderful article from Desiring God concerning birth control and family size.

Now back to the bigger question that I have. Permanent birth control options (sterilization sounds so strange...but I guess that's what it is?!). I have many friends going through those decisions right now and actually most have chosen vasectomy. I'm hoping to recruit one of them to write a guest post...since as far as I know, none of the POH husbands have made a decision on that yet.

In the meantime, we wanted to ask our readers if anyone would like to write a guest post about what they chose as far as permanent birth control? Or why you did not choose this option? Please email us if you would like to share. 

While we don't usually shy away from controversial topics, please remember to be respectful in your comments concerning this issue! Remember this article!!  :)

October Topic: Birth Control

The POH topic for October is birth control. I want to start off by saying that I know this can be a hot topic among believers and my post is not meant to stir up a lot of the rights and wrongs of birth control. I'm simply going to tell you where our family is on this issue right now and why.

When I first got married, I decided to use a hormonal pill form of birth control that was "only" supposed to keep me from ovulating each month. I researched it as much as I knew how to ensure that it would in no way cause a miscarriage/ abortion if I somehow managed to get pregnant, and then I started taking it about a month before my wedding day to make certain that I did not suffer any major side effects from it. Before I started taking the pill, my cycle was completely normal and regular with the obvious signs of ovulation. When we stopped taking the pill to try to get pregnant 1.5 years later, my cycle never went back to normal. My cycles were totally random and I was not ovulating very often, if at all. We struggled with infertility for a deeply painful, emotional, roller coaster year (I blogged about it at POH HERE) and were finally able to conceive with the help of Clomid, a drug that helps you ovulate.

Because of that struggle, I will never, ever take any form of hormonal birth control again. I am fully convinced that the pill disrupted the natural, God-given rhythm of my body. I know that birth control does not affect everyone in this way and I have friends who went off the pill and got pregnant the very next month, and even some who have gotten pregnant while on the pill. But it definitely affected me adversely and I am not taking any chances and will never take any form of birth control again. In addition, the hormonal form of birth control did cause me headaches, mood swings, and a lowered immune system. I am a much healthier person for being off the pill and I will never use it again.

So where does that leave us? After we struggled with infertility, my husband and I decided not to use any form of birth control at all for the time being. We were hoping for several children and did not want to miss any chances! Thankfully, we did not struggle with infertility again after the first baby. Because of breastfeeding, my cycle did not usually return again for almost a year, but each time we quickly got pregnant again after it returned.

How long will we continue to use no form of birth control? I honestly do not know. We are just going to continue doing what we are doing until God shows us it is time to stop. How will we know if/when it is time to stop getting pregnant? This is something I have thought about a lot and I simply have faith in God to make it clear to us. He has clearly guided us through every big decision we have made and I trust Him to do the same in this matter. I have already been praying that God will prepare my heart when it is time because I absolutely love having babies and it will be very difficult for me emotionally when it is time to stop. But when God does show us that it is time, we will simply use the natural fertility awareness method as described in the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

I do wonder if my physical condition will be the way God chooses to show us that it is time to stop... each pregnancy has seemed to double in difficulty and I have a few issues that grow worse and more serious with every pregnancy. It could be that the next pregnancy (if God allows another) will be my last because of those issues. I am trying to prepare myself for such a possibility.

Regardless of when my child-bearing days are over, we plan to adopt at some point and are praying for God's timing in that matter. I would love to adopt babies around the same age as my own so that they could grow up together. But we also like the idea of waiting until our girls are older (teenagers) and could really help and learn about caring for a newborn. One of the pastors at the church we previously attended adopted a baby when his daughters were in high school and their love and care for the baby was such a beautiful thing. And even with the big age difference, they are such good friends today. So we are definitely praying about when God would like us to adopt. Until then, I am just ever so grateful that God has blessed me with these sweet girls:

I hope this post hasn't been too personal or TMI. I just wanted to be completely honest and share where we are right now concerning birth control. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic as well.

Family Planning

Since a lot of good, solid points have already been made, I thought I'd just share my story like Leah and Christina did.

I think that as someone who practiced abstinence before marriage, going on birth control a few months before my wedding was just understood. I knew that was what "a girl did" right before getting married, and I was excited to start taking it. Heck, I knew friends that went on birth control in 9th grade to ease menstrual cramps. I didn't know anyone who chose anything but birth control, except those who didn't prevent and conceived immediately following the wedding. My Grandmother, who had eight children, told me that I had better go on birth control for at least a few years to give my husband and I some time. So, that was exactly what I did.

You also must know that right after I got married, doctors discovered that I had a benign growth on my pituitary gland called a microadenoma. It was on the side of the gland that affected the prolactin hormone, and my OB told me that I could possibly have a hard time getting pregnant, especially if the tumor grew larger. This really explained why my cycles had changed from a 28-day cycle (with seven to eight long days each cycle) all throughout high school and some of college to a three week cycle only lasting three, maybe four days each cycle. I didn't want to take any medicine to shrink the growth since there would be a vacant spot where the growth was and that in itself would present another set of problems. I'd rather pray that the Lord shrink the growth!

During our first year of marriage, I became uncomfortable with the hormones I was putting into my body every month, especially due to the pituitary microadenoma, but I had never been big fan of taking medicines anyways. Before we moved to NC for seminary, we decided that we were going off birth control, and we finally did a few months after being at Seminary. (By the way, the Lord DID shrink the growth from 5mm to 2mm with no medicine!! My Endocrinologist could not believe that I did not take any medicine! All credit goes to the Lord!)

At that point, I started to chart my basal body temperature every morning for months using this printable chart. Here's a sample basal body temperature chart to give you an idea as to how to fill in one. I learned so much from seeing a consistent pattern with my temps and knowing exactly when I was ovulating. I had a clockwork cycle, thanks to that one year of birth control, but still kept hearing the words of my OB in my mind that we could experience an uphill battle with conceiving. In those months of being off birth control, our method of prevention was mainly steering clear of each other during the week I was ovulating. We also used spermicide. Although I had a lot of confidence in using spermicide, I never had a peace about what exactly I was in the spermicide. Long story short, once we decided to not prevent and "just see what happens, we conceived our daughter IMMEDIATELY. Our first pregnancy truly shocked us to the core, as we weren't expecting it to happen so quickly. We were elated! Laney was born December 2006.

After Laney was born, I was nursing and pumping for 13.5 months, so I knew that had to help in preventing conception, but we also went back to the same method we used to prevent before we conceived Laney. I still was uncomfortable with the idea of spermicide, but didn't have the energy to research another option. (If you happen to know what's in spermicide, enlighten us!) We assumed that I was fertile myrtle since my cycles were like clockwork and getting pregnant came so quickly, but boy were we surprised and discouraged with how long it took to conceive this second time. I'll save my story, and what I learned in this time of waiting on the Lord, for a POH week dedicated to infertility, but I will say that the birth control that I was on the first year of our marriage really straightened out my cycle and gave me that perfect 28-day cycle, ovulating on the 14th day. I learned a ton from the same book Christina featured in her post, Taking Charge of Your Fertility." I was able to self-diagnose myself after reading that very informative book.

Lastly, what's my view of birth control? After taking a seminary Marriage and Family Class and reading the books from that class, we both agree with Christina's viewpoint on birth control. If you haven't read what Christina wrote, it's below. We'd love to hear from you!

Natural Family Planning

I am really excited that we added this topic in to our schedule! It just seemed like an area that the Lord kept leading us back to through comment threads - so it was time to make it official! I hope you'll enjoy hearing each of our perspectives. Please share yours with us as well.

There are so many issues all wrapped in the one general "family planning" topic scheduled for this week. How many kids? When do we have kids? How long after you're married should you wait to have kids? Birth control or not? Hormones or barrier methods? You get the idea....

The first resource I'd encourage everyone to read is an article at the Desiring God website. (I just recently realized that it was probably not written by John Piper himself - but by another staff member...) The article is titled, Does the Bible permit birth control?

The article above sums up our current view of birth control and where we're at now. Here is our story:

When we first got married, we decided to use a diaphragm. My doctor thought I was crazy when I asked for one, but said it was effective if used properly. At that time, I did not desire to use hormonal birth control. When I say "hormonal birth control," I'm referring to drugs such as the pill (like Ortho tri-cyclen - although there are many), the patch (Ortho Evra), the NuvaRing or Mirena (the other IUDs). "Barrier methods" would refer to non-hormonal methods including diaphragms and condoms.

The diaphragm did not work for us. It ended up being painful to use and I went back to my doctor to find out why. She said that it was likely due to the slight endometriosis I had dealt with since beginning my period. (I still see it as a great option for birth control and would try it again if the need arises!) We decided to use condoms and did so for about a month. At that time, I experienced some pretty severe symptoms with my period. (I actually passed out at school one day!) My doctor recommended using hormones to regulate my period and get my symptoms under control. I started on the patch (OrthoEvra) after much discussion and debate. It certainly regulated my period and almost eliminated my extreme symptoms! For that I was grateful, but as time went on, I realized how much I didn't like what the hormones did to my body. After about 9 months on the patch, we went off it and began to think about starting a family. Four months later, we were pregnant.

Once I went off of the patch and while trying to become pregnant - I discovered this great book:



Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a GREAT resource and I recommend it for every woman. After reading this I learned so much about my cycle and how fertility works. (And sadly, I had already taken an entire college class centered on a woman's cycle and STILL didn't know very much!)

Through the book - we now use Fertility Awareness Method (a little more calculated than the "rhythm method" that refers to a more general idea that ovulation occurs around day 14...which is not the case for all - or most - women.) to prevent pregnancy and also to become pregnant. By knowing exactly when I am fertile and ovulating - we are able to use condoms during that time. And I know this is not always the case for everyone, but because I knew exactly when I ovulated - we were able to become pregnant RIGHT away with my second child.

There is one more thing that I'd like to share. While researching hormonal birth control - I learned that it works in ways many women are unaware of. (The Desiring God article does not mention this nor take it into account when discussing the natural family planning route vs. "artificial" methods)- so I wanted to be sure that I did. I know this is a huge can of worms - but please know that I do not think it is a black and white issue.

Most women - myself included - think that hormonal birth control works by simply preventing ovulation. That is not the entire story. Most work in several ways - one of which being to prevent an egg from being released. Another way that many work is by changing the lining of the uterus to prevent implantation, should an egg be released and fertilized.

The website for OrthoEvra that very clearly states that it:

"helps prevent pregnancy the same way birth control pills do: by preventing ovulation, which means that the ovary does not release an egg to be fertilized; by thickening the cervical mucus, which makes it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus; and by changing the endometrium to reduce the chance of implantation." (italics and bold added by me :)

The endometrium is the lining of the uterus, in case you were wondering.

You could easily look up other forms of hormonal birth control to see how they work. Most work VERY similarly. I don't think this happens every cycle with every woman on hormonal birth control - but it raised enough question for me. This, along with the fact that I don't like how the hormones made me feel, made me decide against hormonal birth control as a method for preventing pregnancy.

Please share with us your thoughts!

Embracing God's Blessings

As we announced before, we are tackling the topic of "Family Planning" this week. We hope to inspire some good discussion and provide you with as much information as possible.

Ed and I have welcomed two sweet boys into our family so far. Samuel was born in August of 2006 and Joel followed 19 months later in March of 2008. When I told Ed we were covering the topic of Family Planning and wondered what I should say, we both sort of laughed to each other because we'd never really concretely discussed what "our plan" was. If you and your spouse haven't had this discussion, I highly encourage you to talk it over. Sometimes we assume we are on the same page as our spouse only to find out that we have very different ideas.

Even not having much of a plan when it comes to Family Planning is in fact having some sort of plan - I mean, you're either using some form of prevention or not! We started off the first 10 months of our marriage with me on the pill - five years later, I can't remember what I was on, sorry. After 10 months, I decided that I really didn't like taking the pill. I didn't like the way it made me feel, I didn't like taking hormone altering drugs, and I didn't like taking drugs long-term. So we started using condoms and used them consistently for one year. When we were coming up on our two year anniversary we decided we would stop using any form of prevention and see what happened. I got pregnant the very first time we didn't use a condom!

After Samuel was born, we used condoms for six months. I didn't get my period back during this time due to breastfeeding. Once Samuel was six months old, we stopped using condoms and my period also returned. I was pregnant three months later. We did not go back to using any kind of prevention after Joel was born. I just got my period back for the first time.

Ed and I had a great conversation about our ideas and we are both on the same page. Our approach to family planning is to not practice any form of prevention for this season of our life. We hope to welcome each child God gives us, one at a time. Now this is not to say that we have vowed to never prevent. But for the time being, we aren't. We've agreed that if we experience a major life change (job loss, major illness, Ed goes back to school, etc) we will talk it over more and decide what to do.

Our approach differs from another approach known as the Quiverfull Movement. Have you ever seen or heard of the Duggars, a family with a reality show on TLC called "18 and Counting"? They are part of the Quiverfull Movement, which basically forsakes all forms of prevention based on the belief that God intends children to be a blessing and we should embrace each blessing He has for us. You can read more about the Duggars here or the Quiverfull Movement here and here. My family's approach is different because we are not opposed to EVER using some sort of prevention. But the movement is interesting and worth reading about. I think one of the other girls will touch on John Piper's opinions of the Quiverfull Movement later this week. (BTW, if you follow the Quiverfull Movement and have found my description to be lacking, please let me know - I mean no disrespect).

So, have you any questions? I'd love to answer whatever you have on your mind. Thanks!