Practicing Biblical Hospitality: Safe Families

We live in the suburbs of Chicago, IL - home of a program called Safe Families. From the Safe Families website:  

Since 2005, Safe Families for Children has offered sanctuary to thousands of children, minimizing the risk for abuse or neglect and giving parents the time and tools they need to help their families thrive. The ultimate goal is to strengthen and support parents so they can become Safe Families for their own children. 

Safe Families for Children strives to meet three objectives:
1. Child Welfare Deflection: Safe Families provides a safe alternative to child welfare custody, thus significantly reducing the number of children entering the child welfare system.
2. Child Abuse Prevention: Providing an overwhelmed and resource limited parent with a safe, temporary place for their child without threat of losing custody. By offering support, the goal is to avert potential abuse/neglect episodes.
3. Family Support and Stabilization: Many parents struggle because of limited social support and unavailable extended family. Many Safe Families Volunteers become the extended family that a parent never had.

Our family just joined the Safe Families movement about a month and a half ago. We received our first placement at the beginning of October. Four year old K came to stay with us because his single, pregnant mother was hospitalized with pregnancy complications and she had no one who could care for him. Her main support person, her mother, had recently passed away. She was without anyone else to support her. K spent five nights in a crisis nursery until Safe Families was mentioned to the mom as someone who could take care of her son for her. K was with us for three days before his mom was released from the hospital and he could go back home.

On Saturday, we got the call that K and mom had been in the emergency room all day and she was being admitted. K sat by himself in the emergency room lobby until someone could get to him and bring him to us. He's now back with us until mom is released from the hospital.

I love this program for so many reasons. One, it gives us a way to show Christ's love to our neighbors in a way I wouldn't be able to do without the organization. Two, it gives us a low commitment way to see how we would feel about doing foster care. Three, it gives me an opportunity to go out of my comfort zone with the relationship I am developing with K's mom. I am learning so much about her and the struggles she faces in her daily life.

The director of Safe Families spoke at our church this Sunday during a luncheon we hosted for Orphan Sunday. He shared that someone once asked him what the theology behind Safe Families was since they kids they served weren't actually "orphans" (referring to James 1:27 - pure religion to care for orphans and widows.) He said that he looks at Safe Families as a way to practice biblical hospitality - showing kindness to strangers by opening up your home to them. He started Safe Families back in 2005 because he had mothers coming to him (he works for Lydia Home Association, a ministry that includes residential programs, foster care, family services, etc) who had no support system and needed someone to take their kids for them temporarily to give them time to get back on their feet or get out of a dangerous situation. They were good parents - they didn't need DCFS to get involved. But he said his hands were tied until they became wards of the state. He then came up with the idea of Safe Families and started out with just his family. Then he asked friends to help, etc, until it bloomed into the program it is today with 800 families set up as Safe Families. Amazing.

Safe Families has now extended to 13 different states, as well as Canada and the UK. Please look to see if they are in your area and consider joining this amazing movement. You can visit their website here.

Making a routine of hospitality

I've always loved having people over to my house! Now that I have young kids with early bedtimes, it is truly the best way for us to spend time with people without worrying about exhausted meltdowns. I just put the little ones to bed at the appropriate time and continue fellowshipping with our guests!

But on the flip side, now that I have 3 little ones, it is rare that my entire house is completely clean at the same time. (OK; I'll be honest; it just never happens!) The thought of preparing a special meal is overwhelming when I have so many other things that I need to do. And to be completely honest, a lot of times I feel downright selfish with my time and want to have a quiet, relaxing evening with my family instead of having to serve others and do tons of dishes late into the night. I've quickly learned that if I just wait until I "feel" like hosting, it never happens. That is why we decided that for our family, hospitality must become a routine. It was a gradual change for us and I thought I would share with you how it happened and why we love it. I know this method of incorporating hospitality into your lives won't work for everyone, but it has really been a blessing to us (and hopefully to our guests as well:).

When we first started seminary, I heard a speaker say that his wife always cooks extra food one night a week and he is free to invite anyone he meets over for dinner that night. I thought that was a pretty cool idea, but never got around to implementing it.

Then two years ago, some friends in our church needed a lot of work done on their house. Our Wednesday night Bible Study decided to just meet at their house every Wednesday night to serve them instead of studying together. Since I had two little ones and couldn't really help with the workload, I cooked everyone dinner so that they could just come straight from work, eat together, and then get straight to work and have time to accomplish a lot more than if they went home and ate dinner first.

At the end of the summer when our work was completed and we got back to doing the regular Bible Study at our house, I decided to continue cooking extra and invited one of the single Seminary Students to eat dinner with us beforehand. When his roommates joined our Bible Study a few months later, they began to come for dinner as well.

When Abbi was born, we stopped hosting the Bible Study but continued feeding and fellowshipping with the college guys most weeks. And when I was too sleep-deprived to cook, they brought us Chinese food :)

This summer I realized that it wasn't too difficult to make just a little bit more and invite another couple or two over when I fed the guys. (The guys might not get as many extra helpings, but the fellowship is more important :) We have really enjoyed building stronger relationships with these couples, along with the college guys.

Having people over for dinner every week might seem like a lot of work, but I have found that the more I do it, the easier it gets. When I first started, I tried to pick my most praised recipes and special desserts have everything perfect, but that was too exhausting (and expensive) and I just couldn't keep it up! I quickly learned to make my meal plan for my family just as I normally would, with simple dishes that could be doubled easily and most often ones that I could prepare the day before. Then I could relax and enjoy our company (who quickly became family!)

Why we love it having people over on a set night every week: The relationships we have built are priceless! My girls LOVE the college guys and couples that come over and look forward to their night every week. They are learning to have good manners and polite conversations with grown-ups. (They do not always behave, but it is a loving and safe environment to train them!) Our friends take part in our nightly sing-song time, Bible reading, prayers, and kisses, and truly become part of our family. My husband and I enjoy sharing in the lives of our friends and learning how we can better minister to them and pray for them. We are encouraged by their friendship!

Do you have any tips for making hospitality a priority? I'd love to hear them!