Struggles

Hey POH readers! (I just returned from spending six days in Georgia attending my Husband's brother's wedding Matt Papa. There was no time to blog this week and no internet access in the cabin where we lodged. But I thought about writing this post all week.)

#1 I struggle with anxious thoughts concerning feeling inadequate in protecting my children and trusting the Lord as my ultimate Protector. About a month and a half ago, I started having nightmares about Laney's safety, all stemming from my anxious thoughts about it throughout the day. This went on for about a week. You must know that I NEVER have nightmares, so this was pretty upsetting. I asked for prayer in my small group and really was proactive about my thoughts, really meditating on all kinds of scripture (ex: Phil 4:6-8). I am not having those anymore, but I still struggle with truly surrendering my anxious thoughts over to the Lord, where they belong.

#2 I struggle being a well-balanced woman. I try to spend my daytime hours with Laney, playing with her, talking to her, running outside, etc... and that's wonderful, but my house gets neglected and becomes a DISASTER after a few days. My stress levels then rise, and I become what I don't want to be: a tunnel-visioned, negative, nagging, furrow-browed wife instead of being the bubbly, joyful, smiling person my husband married. Being out of balance in one area will have the domino affect spilling disorganization out in every area.

#3 I struggle with honoring the Lord with the lot He's given me. I have become quite the organic lover and have such a peace of mind when I'm eating a 100% organic meal that I've prepared for my family. These are new changes in our diet that I've been trying to incorporate this past year. I am a very spontaneous person and usually thrive with challenge. Usually, but not always. When I learn of something that is beneficial for our family, for example concerning nutrition, I want to change and incorporate it overnight. Not only is that a hard and difficult task to do, but it's also hard on the wallet. We are in seminary and my husband is working his tail off to provide for us. Organic food is expensive. I struggle with accepting that we can't buy all organic no matter how wonderful it is for us and must honor the Lord within our means. The burden my husband bears in providing for our family is not nearly as heavy when I am obedient to live within our means and pick and choose the few organic things that I deem as of utmost importance. The Lord has given me my portion and my cup. There is freecom in truly accepting and living that truth out.