You Mean I'm More than a Mom?

Posted by  | Tuesday, August 19, 2008  at 3:50 PM  
This is my honest question in life right now! I feel like almost everything about me and every part of my day is about being a mom. I order the time I get up and go to bed around the fact that I have children. I organize my home and my time around being a mom. I choose my clothes, hairstyle, and makeup to accomodate children. My crafts are about my kids, my blog is about my kids, my conversations are about my kids. Phew, it's exhausting just thinking about it!

In order to find balance as a mom, I have to focus on two things: One is accepting/embracing this season of life and Two is giving intentional time to other relationships.

First, I have learned to embrace this season in life where I am a young mom with young children. I don't know how long this season will last, but I'm here and I want to make the most of it. I learned this lesson from the many great moms I shared life with during my time at Messiah Baptist Church in Wake Forest. Beth, Margaret, Denise, Kirsti, Joanne, Laura, Karla, Ashlee, Meagan, and Renata were all so instrumental in coming alongside me and teaching me to be a mom. There were many days when Margaret and Kirsti would let me go out and about with them as they "mommed" their children and I learned to appreciate both the joys and the constraints of being a mom. Beth made the comment to me one time that she had to learn how to say no to some things in order to take care of the more important things. This lesson has taught me to focus on my priorities (most important being my relationship with the Lord and caring for my family and home) and not stress myself out when I can't do other things I'd like to do. This is a really tough thing for me because I am a people pleaser and a do-it-myself-er. I always have a million ideas of things I'd like to do, but often they take me away from my young family when they are the ones that need me most. I remind myself that this is just a season and it won't always be like this. But for now I must direct my love and attention on my family.

Second, I remind myself of the other relationships God has me in. First and foremost is my relationship with Him. I love Him and need to spend time with Him. My husband will affirm that this is a tough one for me. I am good at DOING a lot of things for the Lord (and I do them with a pure heart) but I am bad at drawing away from the hustle and bustle of life and sitting at Jesus' feet. This is my number one area to work on. I am secretly dreading the chapter on "The 5 am Wakeup Club" or whatever it's called in the book we'll be doing - I know it's a good solution but I HATE to get up early! :) The second relationship I focus on is with my husband. Luckily my husband is a "family man" and loves spending time with our boys. He actually prefers to do things as a family instead of going on "dates". But we all know when our husbands need attention and this is something that Stacey has really challenged me on. She is always saying little things here and there to the other authors about loving our hubbies, looking good for them, meeting their needs. It's always a good word. Third is my relationship with my family and my husband's family. I make sure to talk on the phone with them and see them as much as possible (they all live outside of our city).

Balancing life as a mom is a work in progress. As children grow, I think it will change and look different. But for a young mom with young children, this is where I'm at.


Christy said...

I understand this sentiment all to well. Having two boys so close in age, it is hard to think of myself outside of the role of mom. I have only recently found time to do other things for myself for example blogging. I was close to finishing my bachelor's degree when I discovered that I was pregnant for the first time. I did finish before my second was born but have not finished my pursuit of my master's degree. Obviously God has other plans for me right now. As far as I know the plan is still for me to obtain my masters but on the Lord's schedule. I am so glad that I have found this blog to help me understand that I am not the only one out there going through these problems and allow myself to realize as you said this is just a season in my life. The Lord knows what he has in store for us and will allow us to know in His perfect timing.

The Eckerts said...

Leah, I'm so glad to hear you dreading the 5am group as well. I HATE to get up early. I absolutely love my sleep. I definitely feel like that is something I'll try, but I'll be kicking and screaming the whole way :) Thanks for your honesty.

Christina said...

Oh ladies - don't fret about the 5am doesn't have to be 5am! I'm in the 6am club (most days - not all, especially not during the Olympics). You'll love the rest of the book, even if not that chapter - I promise!

Shannon said...

Good post. I agree that balancing life as a mom is a "work in progress." Thanks for giving us a glimpse into what it's like for you! I so loved your first paragraph - it's EXACTLY how I feel! :)

Oh, and I agree if definitely won't be the 5 o-clock club during the olympics - I've been up late EVERY NIGHT! I LOVE the olypmics!

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