I must first say that I LOVED Hollie's post...I hesitate writing another post b/c she captured the idea of it all so perfectly. The Love/Respect dynamic of a relationship is so important and something that I think most couples must continually strive for. It affects how we interact with each other in big ways and small ones. Thank you Hollie for the great post.
I want to give you all two ways that I wish I could love my husband. I can't say that these are two ways that I do in fact love my husband b/c the truth is I have a long way to go. This is a really tough spot in my marriage and one that I always need to apply myself more. The two things I have to encourage you in today come from a woman that spoke to a ladies' group I go to. She spoke with us a few weeks ago and I LOVED what she had to say.
FIRST: Never say "no" to sex. I'm serious!! This was the first point this lady gave us. She was speaking to a room full of young mothers and all of us honestly laughed out loud. This woman said that about 14 years ago she resolved that she would never say 'no' to sex. She said it was the best decision she ever made and it has had such a powerful, positive impact on her marriage. We pressed her on the issue - seriously, you never say no? - and she said she seriously doesn't and that her husband seriously likes to have sex. :) One tip she gave us is that if we really don't want to, ask our husband to give us 5 minutes to freshen up. Go into the bathroom, put on something pretty, brush your teeth, etc. and choose to be in the mood. I want to be this woman so badly!! BUT, I will readily admit that I have turned my husband down two afternoons in a row now. I can see that it has a negative impact on our interaction and I HATE that. I really think this woman is on to something.
SECOND: Never, ever put your husband down in front of others - even if you're "just joking around." I touched on this with my reverent speech post. I often times cut down my husband in front of others. I either tease him about things he's done/said, or laugh along with someone else who's giving him a hard time. I am suppose to be my husband's cheerleader, his biggest fan - I should always seek opportunity to give good examples of things he's done/said. There is a couple that we became friends with in CA named Josh and Stacey. These people are my role models for how couples should treat one another. They are always affirming of one another and so uplifting. I love it!
Okay, ladies, I have a screaming baby in my arms so I have to end this, but I hope this gives you some serious food for thought!! :)
4 comments:
I have a friend that suggested something to me on the never saying no to sex idea. She said that you and your hubby should establish a rule that if you truly do not want to, say no, but that means that sometime in the next 24 hours it will happen. I am working on this- difficult with all day pregnancy sickness currently :-\ But I think it is good because there are truly times when I just physically/emotionally/spiritually can't, but this lets me and him no it is going to happen and soon. And it gives me time to prepare myself to know it is going to happen...
Hmmm....
Hmmm....
Good words. I've also been pretty convicted lately about saying "no." Hmm.....
Oh, but my hubs and I love to joke around! That one would be hard for me! Is it ok to joke around, if I don't say no to sex? ;) I'm wondering which he'd want more....
LOL
Good post. Thanks for sharing Leah.
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