Loving our Children

Loving our children comes naturally to us, most of the time I think. We enjoy being with them and doing things for them. But, life can and does get very busy and sometimes we need to refocus and ask ourselves if we are loving our children well or just handing out Cherrios on auto-pilot.

There are many tangible and intangible way we can love our children. An intangible way is by loving our husbands! This topic was recently covered, so I won’t expound too much. Loving our husbands as the Lord would have us provides our kids with a stable environment in which they can develop a godly perspective on family, and in turn, learn to love their own spouses one day. It also makes daily family life much less stressful and more enjoyable.

We can also love our kids by consistently disciplining them. This is not something we normally think of. But, the proverbs make it clear that parents who love their kids discipline them. Chapter 13 verse 24 says, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” That’s how the Lord sees His children too. Proverbs 3:12 says, “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” Clearly discipline and love can and should go hand in hand. I won’t go into specific methods of discipline or parenting because they are so varied. There isn’t one specific formula that works for each child or family, but a few excellent reads on the topic are Sheparding a Child’s Heart by Paul Tripp and What the Bible Says about Parenting by John MacArthur.

Spending quality time is also important. This can be very hard to do, especially if you have many small children or a newborn. We must remember, however, that even a few minutes each day of looking into your child’s eyes or listening intently to them as they explain something makes them feel important and loved. I have to remind myself constantly that my kids may not remember how clean our house was (I’m a neat freak to a fault), but they will remember if I played dress up or built block towers with them. Take time to like what they like and make their interests yours, whether they are toddlers or teens. Always make them feel special. Fix their favorite breakfast or snack regularly. Make it a big deal if they pick a dandelion for you and put it in a vase. Listen, really listen, when they talk to you (also hard when you have more than one child). Answer their questions when they ask you, even if they ask a million a day. God gave your children to YOU and you only have this one life to live with them. Don't just love your children, enjoy them!

Each child and family is unique and there will be different and special ways of loving them and I’ve suggested only a few. Try to be objective and ask yourself often if you are loving your kids well, praying that the Lord would show you a way to influence your child’s heart with His love.