When I first began studying this passage and I looked at the word “pure”, I thought, “Oh this will be easy…keep your mind pure, thoughts pure, be modest…no big deal…not a lot to say…should be a fairly short and easy post!” But as I began to pray over it, search the scriptures, and talk with my husband it was apparent that this one word, PURE, has so much depth and meaning for the Christian woman.
The King James word for pure is the word “chaste.” It sounds very old fashioned but the literal meaning is “to be faithful to their husbands.” At first glance for the Christian woman this doesn’t sound very difficult. Many times I think we think of being faithful as something like this: “I am faithful to my husband…I don’t cheat on him. I don’t really even look at other men. I mean, who has time to look at other men or cheat when I have all of these small children with me all of the time!?! But I would like to focus on two aspects of being faithful that many of us may not have thought about but are real issues in our world today.
“Reigning in of our thought life”
First, while some women may struggle with sexual lust, I don’t think it is the most common form of unfaithfulness to husbands. I do think that it can be more common for women to be unfaithful to their husbands in their thought life about aspects of other men. For example, have you ever thought, “Wow, I wish my husband were like that guy…I wish I were married to him!” While those thoughts are not an outward sin, they are a sin of the heart. When Jesus was teaching about purity in Mark 7 He says, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Another “sin of the heart” that also may come across outwardly is our motive for how we dress. Do you find yourself sometimes thinking, “I may see him…whoever “him” may be…maybe I should wear this or wear that so I can look better in front of him.” The simple truth of 1 Samuel 16:7 is relevant for the Christian woman: “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Adherence to a code of rules in itself not only fails to please God but it is of no value in restraining the flesh. Is your thought life in check? Do you desire aspects (personalities, traits, looks) of other men? Are you faithful to YOUR husband in your thought life? If not, confess that right now. Make your heart pure before a Holy God.
“Releasing ourselves sexually to our husbands”
Did you know that giving yourselves sexually to your husband is an act of purity? 1 Corinthians 7 discusses the topic of marriage. Right before that, in chapter 6:19 it says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Right after this passage, chapter 7 says, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband….do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL consent and for a time…so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control.”
It is an act of purity when we give ourselves with freedom sexually to our husbands. The “marriage bed” is a very private and intimate place just for husband and wife. While I do not believe that “outside” things such as pornography should be brought into a marriage to spice things up, I do think that couples should seek to be creative and spicey in their sex life. Ladies, men want action…men want spice….men want variety…men want you to be desirable. No man wants a “boring dummy” to lay there and take it. I once heard a woman say to me, “Well, if he needs it that bad he can take care of it himself in the shower!” When I heard her say that it really broke my heart. Sex is not for a man alone in the shower!!!!! Sex between a husband and wife is a holy thing. God designed it that way. While your sexual scale may not be as high as your husbands, God’s Word tells us that our bodies don’t belong to us alone. We are to give ourselves freely to our husbands. Do you find yourself making excuses to not have sex? Do you reject ideas of “spiceyness” that your husband may have? Do you have the attitude that he can “take care of himself in the shower?” If you struggle in this area, give it over to HIM. Ask God to make you desire your husband sexually. Be willing to try new things….step out on a limb and be creative! :)
Well, I have certainly stepped out on a limb for sure with this post but I have prayerfully considered every word and my desire is that we would all be chaste women, faithful to our own husbands, and desiring for our lives to bring ultimate Glory to God through that faithfulness in purity.
“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and PURE devotion to Christ.” 2 Cor. 11:3
7 comments:
Wow, thanks Stacey for this post. It isn't common to talk so candidly about sex and purity, but it should be! I think many people would benefit if this topic wasn't so taboo.
Excellent post Stacey!! You really hit it the nail on the head. Thanks for being bold enough to speak the truth and challenge each of us to godliness . . . and purity in our marriages!!
Thank you for this! I needed to read this. I am guilty on both counts. I have some confessing to do!
AMEN...AMEN!!
Great post. I have never thought about comparing my husband to my friends husbands as being unfaithful.Very well said.
Love this post - thanks for a good word! And I'm so excited to hear you encouraging us to surrender ourselves sexually to our husbands! I actually just wrote a little about this on my blog (the post titled Beauty Unveiled, and then more in the comments), because I am PASSIONATE about being passionate with my husband! ;o) It's something I always knew was important, but as the honeymoon phase and newness waned, and then the first 2 children of hopefully many more to come were born...I got complacent.
We actually used to joke about how in my dresser, the top drawer are my practical, everyday underclothes, and the second drawer is...um, not! ;o) So for Christmas last year, I gave my husband the gift of being a "second drawer" wife! It's definitely the gift that keeps on giving, for both of us! :o)
I agree with everything you have said. I agree with KC about the need to be able to talk about sex and purity without feeling like it is a huge taboo. I know my cousin, Shannon Ethridge, has made a giant step in this area. I hope to be able to talk to my boys about this area of life much better than my parents did with me. And Lord willing, if I have a daughter I can be as open as my cousin was with her daughter.
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