Transitioning from 1 to 2 from our friend Jessica

Posted by  | Wednesday, February 24, 2010  at 6:00 AM  
Jessica lives in Wake Forest with her husband, Rusty, and her two kiddos, Andrew (22 months), and Judah (12 weeks). She is a seminary wife/stay-at-home mom. She has lots of college credits, but no degrees. She loves being a mom even though she's never considered herself a "kid person".

1. How old was your first child when you got pregnant with your second?
11 months

2. Why did you choose to have another child?
We had a really hard time getting pregnant with Andrew, so we decided not to prevent a second. I never wanted to have an only child because of how much having a sibling made me who I am today. my sister is my best friend and I want that for my children. I maybe didn't plan on them being 19 months apart, but that's the way the cards fell.

3. What was harder about adding a second child than you thought?
The fact that I am now feeding someone at all times of the day. I can't seem to find a moment to eat, myself because between nursing Judah, feeding my almost two year old, Andrew, and my husband who works weird hours... I feel as though I am constantly sticking food in someone's face, just not my own.

4. How did you prepare your older child for their new sibling?
We tried to explain that there was a baby inside my gigantic belly, but he was really just too young to get it. So honestly we didn't do much preparation for him at all.

5. What was easier?
I was suprised at how much I can do with two on my lap. I have found that I can nurse Judah and still read a book to Andrew. I think I just really expected there to be more neglect towards Andrew, but it hasn't had to be that way at all.

6. Where has your second child slept since joining the family?
Judah spent his first 10 weeks in a bassinet in our room, but has spent the last two in a crib in Andrew's room. I will put Andrew down at 8 o'clock, nurse Judah at 8:30, put him down at 9-9:30 in the boys' room, then go get him at about 6AM before Andrew wakes up to feed him. I'm not even sure Andrew knows Judah's been in there at all.

7. Would you have another baby that distance in age?
NO! If I had it all to do over again I would still have these two this close, but I pray big time that the space between #2 and #3 is a tad bit greater. Having two this close together has led to some lasting health concerns that would only get considerably worse if I was to get pregnant 8 months from now.

8. Do you have any advice to share with others about transitioning from 1 to 2 children?
Only this: Your lap is bigger than you think. I'm certain that Andrew has never felt threatened by the addition of Judah because he is rarely kicked off my lap to be replaced by Judah. I work really hard at that. It has paid off in kindness and affection that is seemingly unnatural for a toddler. I know that being touched all day long is exausting so take a long hot shower all by your lonesome when the hubby gets home.

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