. . . Lydia is getting to play with her grandparents! She hasn't seen them since she was 4 months old so she is really just meeting them for the first time (she's now almost 19 months). It is challenging when you live far away from family with a small baby because babies change so much so quickly (and family feels like they are missing out on so much), and, while our families feel like they know Lydia, they are really more like strangers to her. When our families have visited, they've wanted to scoop up Lydia immediately and flood her with hugs, kisses, and play time. It's challenging for me to help Lydia warm up very quickly to them, as well as help our parents understand not to expect everything to happen as soon as they meet.
So, this was our day this morning - it started a little stressful for me as Josh's parents wanted to play with Lydia but she wanted to stay close to me. As the day progressed though, she has really warmed up to them (I'm so thankful!) and we're looking forward to spending a fun week together.
This week, we hope you won't hesitate to share what your baby is up to, including the praises and struggles. Happy Easter!
9 comments:
I heard of one set of grandparents who video taped themselves reading stories to the camera and mailed them to their grandchild. I thought that was a fabulous idea, and probably today, if you used DVDs and Media bags, shipping wouldn't be too outrageous.
Along those same lines...my brother and sister in law got the grandparents web cams. I'm pretty sure they used Skype with the web cams. I know Gigi and Grandy LOVED seeing their grandbabies on the web cam. And when my niece came home (she was overseas from 5 months to 2.5 years) she was already very familiar with her grandparents. Maybe you could give web cams as a mother's day gift?? :)
Thanks for the suggestions! We need to pull the web cams back out. They were great when we first moved overseas, but then Lydia became mobile and didn't stay within range of the camera. Now that she's a little bigger, I bet she'd enjoy being at the computer looking at the faces and talking. Great ideas ladies!
I really appreciate you sharing your experience with grandparents. My daughter is only 5 months old, but definitely knows when someone besides mom or dad is holding her...and she doesn't always like it!
The last time the inlaws were here, they kept picking her up. She'd scream. I'd get her calmed down. And then they'd do it again and say that "the poor baby has gas." By the third or fourth time that she was perfectly happy in her swing or carseat and they picked her up only for her to start screaming, I think they figured it out.
I felt bad for them because I knew it must be hard, but I also felt bad for my little girl who was obviously scared and confused.
I'm happy to know we're not the only ones.
Great idea with the webcams, Christina. We might just look into that for Mother's Day.
OK, veteran moms out there. This week (and the end of last week) has been a slight challenge with my son, almost 14 months. It seems like he is throwing tantrums and engaging me in these power struggles. For example, today I was on the phone, and he flipped his lid when I put him down! He's getting increasingly difficult to feed (not like him AT ALL) and has become more clingy. I feel like he's a totally different kid these days! He is getting a molar and has a runny nose. I've taken his temp, and it's totally normal. Anybody else had this much trouble with teething? I just don't know. How do I handle the tantrums? Ignore? Comfort? HELP PLEASE!
Mary
Mary,
You will find that the next couple of years will be filled with power struggle changes with your little one. He is testing to see what your reaction will be. At 15 months he has some reasoning skills. This is the time to show him who is in charge. Of course, he could be feeling bad at times with the teething but if he keeps throwing these tantrums (especially when you are doing something else..ie. telephone) then he is testing you. Don't give in to him. Stop what you are doing when it happens and tell him "no." Sit him alone for about 2 minutes. Do not talk to him or give him toys during this time. Just tell him "no" and you can explain that it is not okay to act that way. I know it may seem weird to "talk over his head" but kids really do understand and take in more than we realize. We began spanking when we could see that our children were choosing to disobey. (Disciplining using spankings will be covered in the next few months on our blog.) I am not sure he is choosing to disobey at this point....He is just testing you. Don't let him win the game. After the 2 minutes, pick him up..hug him..say, "I love you. It is not okay to act that way." You may even end the whole discipline time with a prayer asking Jesus to give him peace and to help him learn to listen to mommy. What I have learned with my three is that discipling takes a lot of time especially during those first 3 years. Stay consistant. Take the time. Then the older years will be MUCH easier!!!
Stacey
She is getting so big, isn't she? Your experience this week is one I am concerned about, if we decide to move away from our family. So it is comforting to hear how other folks are dealing with it.
I hope you had a wonderful Easter - and I heard it was Mother's Day there recently, too! ;)
Thank you, Stacey! Today he had a meltdown early on, and I left the room and let him finish it. I came back in when I could hear him talking and playing. He didn't have another big one today after that! YAY! Thanks for the wisdom!
Mary
Our little girl is 18 months old, and we live about 12 hours away from our family. Before we moved (when she was 6 months old), I diligently searched out wisdom on creating and encouraging her to bond with our extended family. Here are some of the ideas that have worked for us:
--We bought clear plastic frames with magnets on the back for the fridge and filled them with photos of everyone from cousins to greatgrandparents. We name them, talk about them, and pray for them several times a day. As she has gotten older, sometimes she'll stop in the middle of coloring a picture and say, "Show Nana!" (or whoever) and run to Nana's picture on the fridge. She'll kiss them, take the pics off and hug them, etc. So sweet!
--We filled a small photo book with photos of her playing with extended family members and left it in the car. It keeps her busy while we're riding down the road, and as her verbal skills have developed, sometimes she'll even tell us what she's doing in the pictures.
--Daily, I remind her of who loves her. I start with Mommy and Daddy, and proceed through all the family members (including the "adopted" aunts and uncles). "Mommy loves you...Daddy loves you...PawPaw loves you...Aunt Nika loves you...etc." Because I've done this since she was very small, I can now ask her, "Who loves you?" and she'll start naming the family!
These are just a few of the ideas that I think have been the most effective with Lana. She now has little to no trouble with transitioning to time with our extended family. It's a lot of work sometimes, but worth it!
Sorry this is so long! :)
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