Why Me?

This week's topic is "Being subject to our husbands" from Titus 2:3-5:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

My title is "Why Me?" because I have no idea why I was the author assigned to start off this week's topic. To be quite honest, this is the weakest part of my life and I am definitely not the person to give great advice. I have a really hard time honoring God in this area. It's not because I don't agree with it. It's not because I don't want to. It's simply because I am a sinful person and I have learned that this is not something that comes "naturally" to me. It's something that I know I need the grace of God to help me to do, but I don't seem to beseech him for it all too often.

The main way I fall short in this area is by second-guessing my husband on things both great and small. I usually think that my idea is better and question his decisions. I make comments that make him feel stupid and inadequate in my eyes. I usually justify this by saying, "well I'm entitled to my opinion and I should be allowed to have input. And of course we should do the quicker/cheaper/wiser way of doing things, right?"

To add insult to injury, the second way I fall short is that I always listen to what my dad has to say about things and often suggest that we call him and ask his opinion. And I definitely act like a Daddy's girl when he is around. All this serves to make my husband feel second class.

So why do I keep doing all of this if I know it's wrong? Classic question, right? Because it is what comes natural. Because it's a hard habit to break. Because often times I'm thinking of myself first, or at least not thinking of my husband first. There have been times when I've been subject to my husband. And he's been loving to me. And we seem to happen upon this give and take in a relationship that God has showed us and we're happy. So I know even experientially that God's Word is good, true. It's just a struggle so often to get my mind and flesh to align with my heart.

I know this isn't the big heap of encouragement you were possibly looking for in this area. But I wanted to be honest with all of you. Hopefully I can write about this same topic a year from now and share all sorts of insightful things. But for now, here's my shortcomings for all of you to see.