Food for Thought

I know this week's topic is Our Favorite Products, but Melissa posted some great thoughts on her blog this week that I really wanted to share with everyone.
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on comparing.
04.16.10

The other night my sweet husband came home from work, and, as usual, began to fill me in on his night.

“Tonight this family came in with a bunch of boys with the same haircut and I couldn’t figure them out…I finally thought it was triplets and another boy. ‘Cause it was four kids. But, it turns out it was four year old twins, a two year old and a one year old. I was like, ‘Dang.’”

“The dad was close to my age.”

“What was the mom like?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Brown hair..”

“Hah. No. That’s not what I mean. Was she a stick, was she fat, organized, frazzled?—”

“Not a stick, I mean, she looked like a mom. You know, not like she hangs out in the gym everyday or anything.”

“Okay… Well, was she like my size, bigger or smaller or—-”

“No, she was like your size.” (cool, right? I mean, she’s had four kids in three years, I have had TWO and we’re neck and neck according to my husband. Which is to say, not a stick.)

“Ooh, so you think I’m fat…”

Instead of going down that road, I went on to explain what I really wanted to know. “Babe, I really meant what was she like– like does she pee her pants when she does jumping jacks, is she healthy, are her reproductive organs still in tact, does she eat well, does she take all four with her when she has to go grocery shopping, do you think she used cloth diapers, is she pro-organics, is she pretty? These are the things I want to know when you tell me things like this.”

Randy’s eyes widened. “Whoa. All I asked was what they wanted to eat. I didn’t even come close to thinking like that.”

In a woman’s world, my queries are not that strange or surprising. We are so quick to size up our “competition.” We compare ourselves to others to see if we are doing ok, if we can do better, or if everyone else is living up to a higher standard than we are. And it’s just plain not right. (I won’t go on about the lady that sized me up in the nail salon today, as if she was evaluating whether or not I belonged to her social class or if she was better than me… or the teenagers in the mall who look at me as though I am the queen of frumps.)

Anyway, behind my husband’s voice, I heard that still, small one asking me why in the world I needed to compare myself to her. We ALL fall short of the glory of God, and that’s the bottom line. Of course others are skinny a week after giving birth and I am still working on my weight, but that’s the body I got. (Really, Lord, you couldn’t just make me fit and trim without any effort on my part? Why not???) Winston Ludy writes, “‘Normal’ to God isn’t a set formula, it’s obedience no matter what the cost, absolute trust in his leading, and total dependence upon him for the outcome.”

I am reminded by this remarkable excerpt from CS Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy:

“I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice.
“Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta.
“There was only one lion,” said the Voice.
“What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night and…”
“There was only one; but he was swift of foot.”
“How do you know?”

“I was the lion.”

And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you. ”
“Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”
“It was I.”
“But what for?’
“Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers.”

It’s so hard to not evaluate my standing in life according to my accolades or my peers or some other sinful standard. Why is that? Well because the real standard, Jesus Christ, is harder to follow, and yet he doesn’t want mere compliance to a standard. He wants my heart. The whole broken thing. He wants me to care about pleasing only him, and he will put my heart back together again. (As for my body, I guess I will have to stick to the 30 Day Shred.) This comparing is not just a female phenomenon, (see Piper’s article here), but it seems that us women do it much better than most men.

I love how this quote, speaking of love, also reflects the truth of real LOVE himself:

“For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant…

[the prophet. kahlil gibran.]

Beaba Babyfood Maker

I absolutely love this product. It has made my life so much easier in making baby food. When my brother originally called me and asked if I thought I would use it I thought, "Wow, that's really thoughtful of him." But, I really didn't think it would simplify my life. Boy was I wrong. It steams, purees, defrosts, and reheats all in one. It is simple to use and clean-up is a breeze. Most importantly, this is how it has revolutionized how I feed my boys: instead of thinking of what would be the easiest thing to serve (of course on my list of things I'm okay with feeding them) I now think what would be the best thing.

I give them a much greater variety of foods and make it fresh everyday. Rather than spending a couple hours in the kitchen one afternoon making a batch of green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc. and freezing in bulk I choose from the fresh fruits/veggies/meats I have on hand and rotate foods so everyday is different. It's so easy. I may toss in a sweet potato and broccoli, let it steam for 15 minutes and then puree it. Then I put in some of the raw chicken we'll eat for supper with an apple and quinoa. . .or whatever. I just feel really good about the variety of foods I'm able to give them each day and love knowing it's fresh. I still sometimes freeze extras to have on hand but now I don't always have to think so far ahead. It's just a matter of tossing what's in my fridge in the steamer and in 15 minutes supper is ready.

The other important way it has helped our family is in how it purees. It purees even small quantities to any consistency. Before using this babyfood maker James would seriously only eat applesauce, kefir, and my homemade bread. Almost instantly he started eating meat and veggies - because I can get them pureed to the consistency of applesauce or kefir. (I realize you could do this with a blender but I never liked to cook in such large quantities, nor do I enjoy cleaning up my blender).

The only downside to this item I've found is that it does not come with a glass jar to defrost or reheat items (it does come with the steamer basket). Since I've never bought jarred baby food, I didn't have a glass jar on hand. I did end up getting a few from a friend, but they are smaller than the steamer basket. With twins, I would enjoy having a large jar the size of the steamer basket included with the item.

I was blessed to receive this as a Christmas present. Not having used it before, I probably would have never spent the money to buy it. However, knowing what I know now, I'd buy it a million times over. Making baby food is no longer that dreaded chore I can't wait for them to grow out of.

Securing Furniture to Wall

Christina did a great job in her post on safety in the home, so much so that I really don't have much to offer, concerning what our family did to baby proof our home. I do, however, have a story about one way to secure furniture to the wall.

My parents came up one week when I was pregnant with our second daughter.
I was definitely nesting, and since my husband was at work, I asked for their help in moving some furniture. A dream come true, right? All the pictures hung, heavy items moved, and things organized! I loved it! We had a leaning Pottery Barn shelf that could be secured to the wall using nails, but my dad wasn't very confident that the shelf would stay up (of course, what Grandfather would?) if one of the girls was standing on or climbing the shelf. UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, on one of his trips to Lowes, he picked up a little something to secure to shelf to the wall. I caught him in the act of screwing this into MY POTTERY BARN SHELF. Take a look:

No, you're not seeing things. My dad bought a CHAIN LOCK and screwed it into my PB shelf and then into a stud in the wall. WHAT?! I about had a cow! I mean, I definitely have confidence that it will hold even ME now, if I decide I want to do a little wall scaling. I might not have been so against it had he screwed it on the BACK of the shelf where no one could see, but no, it's on the front shining in all its glory and will now and forever have to be covered up by a picture frame or vase. So, if you want to secure a heavy piece of furniture to the wall, consider a chain lock. Just be sure to hide it! :)

Childproofing or Sanityproofing?

Have you been down the childproofing aisle at Babies R' Us lately!? I hadn't for at least a year and it seems to have EXPLODED! Compared to the products available - we use very little physical barriers for childproofing. What I do use is more often for MY OWN SANITY than my children's safety. Not ashamed to admit that, the childproofing products work great for that purpose too. :)

When we first had Will, I did the typical baby gate to block the steps and outlet covers. But that was it! When I first started keeping Ava, she was 8 months old and Adeline was 6 months old. Will was not even 2.5 yet. So, I did add a few extra baby gates and cabinet locks. Mostly to block everyone in the living room and specifically OUT of the kitchen (and food!) - otherwise I was tripping over babies while trying to cook.

Over time, the only things I've added have been for sanity not safety. But again, they work great! The following pictures were taken 10 minutes ago and truly show exactly how we use these products in our home currently:

Adeline's door is on the left and Will's on the right. The door knob cover over Adeline's door was initially to keep Will out. Prior to our slight modification to his doorknob (look closely - the lock is on the outside) we would find him wandering and sometimes in his sister's room while she was asleep! He's since figured out how to open doors with knob covers although its not easy and he often gives up.

About Will's door knob...we had a short phase of Will getting out of bed and wandering. While we nipped it in the bud with some discipline, it scared me to DEATH. I would turn around and he would be there when I was LEAST expecting it. So to save me from a heart attack, we decided to turn the lock around. (Not to mention keep him from falling down the stairs in the middle of the night...) We rarely lock it now, especially as we're working REALLY hard to encourage him to get up on his own and use the bathroom when necessary at night or first thing in the morning.

We only have a sprinkling of outlet covers left in our house. Honestly, I've only ever seen Will even think about playing with one but we also nipped that in the bud and it hasn't happened since.

BUT...part of the reason it hasn't happened since is that I added these outlet covers to the visible outlets in Will's room. They are the kind you have to slide to the right to insert the plug. When the plug is removed it slides back to the left automatically. I got them off Amazon when we were having a problem with Will obeying and plugging/unplugging his humidifier. The next battle came with his small Christmas tree we had in his room. So with these, he is safe should he choose to disobey. We also put one on the outlet where we had our big Christmas tree plugged in. All of the kids liked that plug because it turned the lights on!

I do have these cabinet locks in my kitchen and bathrooms. Obviously to keep cleaning products "locked" up - but again, Will can get past them now and has been able to for a while. They are really just a visual reminder that he is not allowed in those cabinets. The cabinet on the left that is undone is for food. Again a visual reminder that they have to ask first - otherwise my kids would help themselves to snacks all day!

The last item we use most right now really is the monitor. I still use this for both of my kids and I can hear (and usually be able to tell) exactly what they are doing when out of my sight in their rooms. I use the Fisher Price Sound and Lights monitor and when Adeline came along, we bought a second set at a consignment sale. Each kid is on a different channel and it works great. (At night - our room is so close to theirs - I can hear either without the monitor.)

I usually know which child I need to listen for at which time. For example, I listen for Will at the beginning of nap time until I know he's asleep as this is the most likely time he would get up and get in trouble! Once he's asleep - I switch to Adeline as she's the most likely to wake up crying and wake the others! Again, the monitor is more about my sanity than their safety.

The bottom line is (in my opinion) - don't go overboard with safety items. Teach your child what is off limits and why (if they are old enough - like Will). Add safety barriers as needed. Some may not have the same laid back attitude we do - or maybe I'm kidding myself and I'm not laid back at all!?

Any other interesting tips for childproofing or sanityproofing your home?

Day to Day Life with Little Children

I am mom to Samuel (3.5) and Joel (2). I also watch a little boy named Gavin (1) on Tues/Wed/Fri. They are my little chicks who follow me around all day long. I think the point of this week's posts is supposed to be how I get through my day with my small children. Here's a little peek at what our days look like:

Gavin arrives at 7:00 am. I usually feed him a little snack while I eat breakfast. Then I lay him down for a nap at 7:30 (his parents wake him up in the mornings to bring him to our house and he is still tired). My boys get up around 7:30am. I feed them breakfast and then let them play. We have somewhere to be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so we usually get dressed right away on those days to get out of the house. The other days it wouldn't surprise me if my kids were still in their jammies at 10! They do eventually get dressed and we usually either go outside or their dad takes them to Starbucks and the local library. Gavin is usually back up by 9 or 9:30. We eat lunch around 12 and then all three lay down for a nap at 1. Gavin gets picked up at 3:30 (he's usually still sleeping). My boys get up shortly thereafter. If we've gone somewhere in the morning I usually try to stay home in the afternoon. Otherwise, we might head out to the store or to a friend's house or to the library or park. I don't usually take my boys grocery shopping with me. I either go when Ed can watch them or I take them over to the neighbor's house while I run out. Everyone is much happier that way! Ed comes home for dinner around 6:00, so I spend that last half hour straightening up the house and getting dinner ready. The boys usually play by themselves during this time. If it is just not happening with them, I can distract with a DVD. We eat dinner, play around the house some more and then head to bed at 8:00. And that's my day with three little children!

The main point, I suppose, is that I try to have pretty low expectations on a day-to-day basis. We go to a mom's group on Tuesday mornings, AWANA on Wednesday nights, and Bible Study Fellowship on Thursday mornings. Those are the only scheduled activities. We do plenty of other things, but they are flexible and at my choosing. This has helped simplify our lives and take a lot of stress out of always having to rush from here to there.

My boys are 19 months apart. This was a little tough in the beginning, especially because we've always kept a 3rd child, but they have recently really come into their own. They LOVE to play together and they miss each other when they are separated. It is so fun to spend my days with them and see all the things they come up with together. I am really thankful that God has given me this season of life in the manner He has.

Juggling Life with Many Small Children

I don't know if two counts as "many" or not, but sometimes it seems like it. And, we'll be adding one more to the total this summer anyway, so Ben and I will be outnumbered. Right now I feel like I have two hands and two kids so everything is okay and I wonder how I'll do it with three. Then I try to remember how I survived having just one when I thought I couldn't, and then two, when I thought I couldn't. I know that by the Lord's grace I'll survive three on those days when I think I can't. This post was supposed to be about managing my day-to-day schedule, but I recently detailed our schedule in here. So, I'll try to give a few quick tips instead.



First, be flexible. Potty accidents will happen at the worst possible time, usually when something is burning on the stove and the doorbell rings and you are on the phone. But, a charbroiled dinner never hurt anyone and you are raising young kids - so don't be hard of yourself. Take a few deep breaths, pray for strength, and move on. (All of this is easier said than done, of course).

Second, don't overplan or overbook. We have two standard "outing" days per week, aside from church days. There are other things we could easily be involved in, but I choose not too. We all need time at home to get things done around here, or to simply sit on the floor and play together.

Third, remember that there is a season for everything. My mom once told me that she was most frustrated as a mother when she had something she was working on and couldn't get to it. I TOTALLY know that feeling. My husband has called me "project girl" since we got married. There is always something I'm crafting, decorating, or sewing. I love to do these things and even find it relaxing to work on one of my projects. But, it isn't relaxing or fair to my family if I'm frustrated and snippy because I'm interrupted while working on something. I usually save my project time for when my kids are in bed at night. The house is quiet and I can get the hot glue gun going without worrying about a toddler grabbing it. Right now though as I'm in the third trimester of my pregnancy I find myself simply worn out at the end of the day and can't manage to stay up very late crafting as I'm used to doing. But, I know that this will pass and in another 6 or 8 months (once the new baby is sleeping really well), I'll be able to get back to my projects again.

These are just a few things I've learned in these last couple of years and I still have so much to learn! I do not always handle the craziness of having young children with the patience and grace that I should. But, like our Lord, children are very forgiving. I have had to apologize to my kids for being frustrated and short with them and they always respond with warm hugs and sweet smiles that remind me that they still think I'm great. What a wonderful blessing mothering is!

Working from Home

Hello! My name is Katie Laird. I’m 27 and I’m a photographer. My wonderful sister-in-law Margaret asked me to share a little about my life as a working mom. 15 months ago, my husband (Dave) and I welcomed a beautiful little girl into this world. (at home, just like her cousins!) She is such a blessing to us, and we are so thankful for this little gift God has given us.

About 6 years ago, Dave and I started our own photography business. We started out with his sister’s senior pictures, and today we do all kinds of photography-from weddings to business head shots. We are able to primarily run the business out of our home. However, it takes about 10 to 15 hours a week in the off-season and about 20-30 hours a week during the busy season for me to stay on top of the tasks and jobs we have. (Dave no longer works at home with me; he is a Graphic Designer at a print shop in town)

Growing up my mom ran a beauty shop out of our house, so she was able to stay home with us, but also earn an income. We started the photography business with this type of set up in mind. I would be able to stay home and still earn an income.

My daily schedule is jam packed from the second my feet hit the floor in the morning until I fall exhausted into bed at night. It's a struggle some days to juggle being the wife I need to be, giving Brianna the attention she needs, keeping up with the needs of my clients, and some days, my pets are so needy I want to just get rid of them. I do a lot of my work during nap time. Thankfully, Brianna still takes 2 naps every day. I know I will have to redo my entire day when she drops her morning nap, but for now, we have found a routine that works:

7:30am: I get up and shower and sometimes have a chance to get started on working for the day

8:30 to 9:00am: Brianna wakes up (She has been a GREAT sleeper since day one!)

9:00 to 10:30am: Breakfast and play for a little bit

10:30/11:00am: Brianna lays back down for a nap, I head to the office and start work for the day

12:00/12:30: Brianna wakes up

12:30: Lunch

1:00 to about 1:30ish: I do “house things” – dishes, laundry, cleaning etc.

1:30 to 2:30: Brianna and Mommy time. If she wants to dance, we dance, if she wants to draw, we draw, if she wants to pick up sticks in the front yard and throw them, we do that. I make sure we do whatever she wants, and I don’t answer my phone or do any other work during this time

2:30 to 4:30: Brianna naps and I work some more. I also do my quiet time at this time

4:30 to 5:00: I start working on dinner; Brianna eats a snack and plays

5:30: Dave gets home and we generally eat shortly after that

After dinner, we do “family stuff.” Take a walk, play in the yard etc.

7:30/8:00: Brianna goes to bed.

After Brianna is in bed, some nights I have to go back to work, but I try not to do that. I like to save this time for me and Dave. Sometimes we work out together, sometimes we just sit and talk, and sometimes we just lounge on the couch and watch TV.

I admit some days are over before I know it, and I look back and realize I didn't take any time to just sit, and be quiet, and be alone with God. Everyone needs a little "me and God" time every day, and some days, I just don't get that. I hate that it happens.

But I'm working on that. I'm working on realizing that clients won't hate me if I tell them their pictures will be ready on Tuesday, and in fact I get them ready on Wednesday. I'm finding out that the dishes CAN wait until after Brianna is in bed. Believe it or not, Julia Child's ghost won't come haunt me at night for cooking a frozen pizza for dinner sometimes. Martha Stuart's police have yet to knock on my door and hand me a citation for not having craft time every day with Brianna. I tend to get so wrapped up in what I think is "expected" of me as a mom in this century, that I forget to just sit back and realize that I need to spend time trying to please God, not man.

Is this an ideal situation? No. To be honest, I’d rather be simply a stay at home mom with nothing more on my plate than keeping a clean house and raising a child. But we need the income from the business to survive. So I have tried to find the best balance that I can between all of my duties. Some days, I just want to scream, other days, I LOVE it. Being a mom brings enough challenges with it, that’s for sure, but I am thankful that God has helped me handle the extra stress of running a business on top of those challenges. Time will tell if this is the right path for us, but for now, we feel like God has provided a way for me to earn income, but also stay home with Brianna. Because I set my own schedule, I am still able to do a lot of things that other stay at home mom’s do. We go to a play group once a week, we have a zoo membership and we go to parks and the library on occasion. I want to make sure that being a mom to Brianna is WAY ahead of owning a business. I am thankful that God has helped me find that balance.

Life as a working mom …

Hello, all! My name is Mary, and I’m happy to share again here on POH!

I work as a full-time teacher at a year-round charter school, and I really do love my job: I’m home by 3:30, and every 9 weeks, I’m home for 3 weeks, with 4 weeks for summer. It’s a great balance for me to have so many breaks throughout the year.

Right now, I’m still on maternity leave with our second child, so I’m not sure what it’s going to be like working with two children at home. What I do know--having been home for almost four months, now—being a stay-at-home mom is HARD WORK! I personally think it’s harder than working a job outside the home, so props to all you SAHM’s out there!

I do believe that being a SAHM is not for everyone, just like being a working mom is not for everyone. While I do need to work so that we can make it financially, I would not do well being home all the time. All the same, feeling conflicted about working is something I struggle with from time to time: I like working and feel that it’s something that I need to do, not only for us financially but also for me emotionally. Then, I also feel the pull to be home. Usually, when I start feeling conflicted, it’s time for my three-week vacation, so that’s really nice.

I think women who have that conflicted feeling all the time should really evaluate their situation as a family. The important thing is having all members of the family content. I can honestly say that I am content being a working mom, and I suppose that’s why working is “bearable” to me. My sister’s situation is the exact opposite, and she’s constantly looking for a way to be home full-time. This is why I really believe the decision to work or stay home is not cookie cutter, and one is not better than the other. I feel like a better mother because I work, and my sister feels like a weaker mother because she works. It’s definitely a unique situation for each family.

ANYWAY, our childcare situation is also really nice and makes being a working mom easy. My husband is off one day a week, and my mother-in-law comes to our home the other days, so we don’t have to worry about waking up children and packing them up in the mornings. It’s also nice to be able to come home without having to pick up kids and make that transition. My mother-in-law also helps out with the laundry and dishes, and that’s a huge help. I also know that she loves my boys, so I don’t worry about them getting enough love.

We did have some issues at first, however— a mother-in-law situation is different than dealing with your own mother, mainly because we tend to mother like our own mothers. I had some difficulty “convincing” her of the importance of keeping a schedule, especially with naps, but she really has been so gracious to do what we ask of her. I think she has struggled at times with not feeling like grandma, so we’ve had to be intentional about giving her other experiences outside of the day-to-day.

Things I do to help myself juggle work and home:

*I have a cleaning schedule—one household chore every day!

*My husband helps out A LOT. A LOT: he packs my lunch, goes to the grocery store, helps with dinner, etc. I couldn’t do it without him.

*I used to go to the gym before work—5:30 am. I’m going to try this again a few days a week at least because my older son really loves to go and play while I work out.

Thanks for letting me share, and feel free to comment with any questions or insights!