A spin on our toddler bed

A year and  half ago, I bought an antique head/footboard from a lady in North Carolina. She had cut the legs off of this bed and didn’t have any side rails to go with the bed. That was fine with me because, I  wanted to make a bench out of it.  However, after cherishing its antiquity and doting over the detail in this bed, I could NOT entertain the thought of taking it apart and making a bench.

Plan B was now to make a toddler bed out of it.  My baby was just 10 months old at the time, so I knew I had to hold onto it for a while.

When we moved, I toted it with me. DH tried to get me to get rid of it, and I looked at him like he had two heads. This bed was a work of art in my mind. I had great plans for it, and wasn’t going to keep it stashed in the garage forever.  I just had to wait for the right time.

Well, today was the day! The right time had come, now that little bits was in need of a toddler bed.  I wanted to use both the headboard and footboard and assemble the bed to look just as it would if I had a big, full mattress in the bed, but use a crib mattress instead. My handyman hubby did a great job building a foundation for the crib mattress to sit on, since we didn’t have side rails.

Can I just say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE how the bed came out?

Ta-dah!

We have to do a little bit more work on the bed on the sides to keep the mattress from scooting, as well as keep her from scooting upward in her sleep.  I just love it!  When she outgrows this bed, which won’t be too long, we’ll keep it in the girls’ room as a reading couch for them or put an   actual full mattress in the bed instead of a crib mattress.  They will love making forts/tents from the bed posts.

Can you tell the girls just love it? Big Sis wanted to sleep in it too tonight. She also loved jumping off the bed onto the floor in a “geronimo-style” fashion, like doing a "can-opener" onto carpet. Little Bits likes to go down the white stairs on the right, but I’m sure she’ll be jumping before I can blink.  We both laid down in her new toddler bed tonight at bedtime. Her smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger. Just melts my heart. I had thought about the girls sharing a bed at one time, but a full bed seemed a bit small for both of them, since they are both rambunctious sleepers, toss’n and turn’n every which way. A queen bed would probably work perfectly, but then again, I think I still like them having their own space since they share a room. Any thoughts on same gender siblings sharing a bed? I’d love to hear it!

Demanding and arguing

My 4.5 year old is an absolute joy! She is the best helper I could ever wish for, she takes great delight in taking care of her little sisters, and her unbelievable imagination just fills my life with laughter. But she seems to have forgotten her manners a little and we are working hard to get her back to where we were just a few short months ago. We have two major issues that we are working on right now and I thought I'd share them and what we are doing to correct them. I'm just going to be honest and I'd love to hear your tips as well!

1. She has forgotten "please." Even before she could talk, Karis signed the word "please" when she wanted something. But lately, she has forgotten it and can be quite demanding. I think she got into the habit because she enjoys telling her little sister what to do so much, but it has transposed into telling adults what to do as well. So we are trying to quickly nip it in the bud. It is amazing how quickly a habit forms when you aren't paying attention and then it is difficult to erase!

Basically, we are refusing to acquiesce when she asks for something in a demanding way. She has to wait 3 minutes and then she may ask again correctly and we will fulfill her request. For example, if she says, "Give me more milk," then I respond, "no, you did not ask respectfully and you can try again in 3 minutes." In the car, she has a habit of wailing from the back of the van, "I can't hear the music!" So we completely turn off the music for 3 minutes and then give her the chance to ask us to turn it up respectfully. It has taken a while for her to remember, but we are definitely seeing progress. She will often start to demand something and quickly cover it up with a "will you please?"

2. She has developed good reasoning ability that has grown to arguing (otherwise known as "too smart for her own good "). Our family has always tried to implement first time obedience with a bit of grace thrown in. (And no, I have not yet read "Give Them Grace," but I would really like to. If you have read it, please comment and share your thoughts!) For instance, if Karis is reading a book and I ask her to go take her clothes to her room, she is allowed to say, "May I please finish this book first?" If she asks respectfully, we are not in a hurry to do something else, and there are not many pages left, I usually allow her to finish. But if I say no, she must immediately get up and do it. This method has worked well for the first 4 years of her life, but now she is taking it a bit to far. I ask her to do something and she says, "Well....." or, "but Mama...!" She usually has great logic that makes me laugh but the core problem is that she is making excuses instead of obeying right away. A lot of times, the things she says she needs to do first are really good things, such as helping Karlie or Abbi with something, but it is still disobedience. And often when I tell her no, that she must obey first, she begins to argue to try to explain why she is right. I don't have any great plan for this issue, other than immediate discipline and to try to always take the time to talk to her and explain why this is biblically a problem and try to reach her heart and pray with her. But boy is it difficult to find the time to do all that when my other two little ones are running around needing me!

Those are the two major parenting issues we are dealing with this week. What about you? I'd love to hear your struggles or advice!

Choosing permanent birth control

The below story was emailed to me from my friend (and the wonderfully named), Leah Thomas. I hope you find her story helpful and encouraging.

I am a wife to a wonderful husband and am a mother of two amazing little boys.  One of my sons, Joseph, is 3 years old and the other one, Isaac, is 9 months old.  I work from home as a wedding planner and I run a reasonably successful wedding venue.  My husband, Joe, and I are also in the early stages of planting a church in the Central Florida area. 

My husband and I have not chosen the path of permanent birth control.  However that is not to say we would never.  Stating that I know now that I will never be in a situation that might lend me to question the wisdom of having more children down the road is a statement I am not willing to make.  I hope I never have to ask that question, but I will not say never.  I love and am completely and totally smitten with my children and would potentially love to have more.   

My parents however did make that choice.  I have a younger brother and it is just the two of us siblings.  My mother began having strange symptoms after I was born and they continued on through her pregnancy with my brother.  She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  MS can take many different forms and the severity is very different for everyone.  My mother had an extremely progressive form of the disease and was wheelchair bound in just a few short years after diagnosis. 

MS complications caused her very sudden death three years ago.  I say sudden because we weren’t expecting it right then.  However, through most of my childhood she was in and out of the hospital and it was always in the back of our minds that she would die young and possibly at any time.  The uncertainty of her life expectancy combined with the difficulty of living life with, for her, a paralyzing disease is one that made them question the wisdom of having another child. 

It was an extremely difficult decision for them, but it was unclear what the strain of another pregnancy might do to her system and she was in “survival mode” trying to raise two young children.  So they chose a permanent form of birth control.  They say hindsight is always 20/20 and I believe she would say she was devastated to have never been able to have more children, but that she did best for her family.

My parents were amazing examples of how to live by faith and demonstrated Christ centered lives.  Both of my parents believed that children are a gift from God and they also believe that God is sovereign in all things.  That does not mean that there is never a time to pray and seek God’s will for your family as it pertains to planning when and if it will grow.

Natural cures for PMS and other hormonal issues...

Many women take hormonal birth control to help regulate their cycles and many other women say that hormonal birth control gives them mood swings, headaches, hot flashes, etc. It is a quandary to me and (as I explained in my post last week), I've just decided to forgo hormonal birth control altogether. So I thought I'd offer up some natural ideas to help with all of those problems. Keep in mind that I am not a doctor and you should do your own research to determine what will help your particular issues. These are simply things that have helped me. Before making these changes, my time of the month was quite miserable, with extremely painful cramps, headaches, mood swings, etc. I am quite happy to report that I now hardly experience any symptoms at all. I'm not kidding! (I must admit, however, that due to pregnancy and nursing, I have only experienced a few cycles in the past 5 years. But I've done enough research to believe that those months were not flukes and to expect my good fortune to continue.)

Here are the changes I made:

1. Read this post on punctuation! You really should. It is funny and informative. I didn't really believe the author at first, but once I read all the comments in agreement, I decided to ditch my normal feminine care products and give it a try. And I was glad that I did. There is no doubt that it made a difference for me and shortened my cycle. And the cloth ones are so much softer! I'll never go back if for no other reason than that! I have to wash cloth diapers anyways, so it really didn't add any trouble for me. And if that sounds completely gross to you, there are organic disposables that will still make a difference in your cycle. That is what I plan to use if my cycle ever interferes with a beach trip. And if you still think I am crazy, then you haven't read the article... so go back and read it :)

2. Maca powder -- Maca is a root that can really help to balance hormones naturally. It has been shown to help with PMS, menopause, hot flashes, unending periods, male and female infertility, low libido, etc. For me, it made a big difference in eliminating menstrual cramps and raising my BBT to a normal level. I started out by putting it in my milk each morning, but didn't like it so much and ended up just putting it in an empty pill capsule to swallow.

Here are some articles to use for research:

The Power of Maca

Maca for Hypothyroidism, Adrenal Fatigue, PMS, Fibroids, and Menopause

3. Avoid soy-- Soy contains phyto-estrogens that disrupt your hormones and endocrine system. Unfortunately, it is in almost every processed food. Here are some links to consider:

The Dark Side of Soy

Problems with soy

Soy Alert

Between those 3 changes, my PMS symptoms were practically eliminated. Do you have any other suggestions for balancing hormones naturally? I'd love to hear them!

I'll leave you with 3 other articles that I found helpful on this topic:

Help for difficult menstruation

How to balance hormones naturally

Natural PMS relief

Easy relief from heavy periods

Love for the Big and Small by Kevin DeYoung

This article is from The Gospel Coalition and written by Kevin DeYoung. My sister in law, Brandy shared it on Leah's post below. Perfect for our discussions this week, so I wanted to share! Because of the first line in his article below, I've included the entire article. You can find the original post, here. Let us know what you think!

Love for the Big and Small
by Kevin DeYoung

Feel free to make copies of this article and pass it out to your friends. Feel free to post this on Facebook, mention it on Twitter, link to it on your blog. If you are part of a church with young families I promise this essay will be relevant.

I want to talk about the size of our families. More importantly, I want to talk about loving as we want to be loved and giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

Scripture says the human race should be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28; Mal. 2:15). Children are always seen as a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5; 128:3-4). Church growth happens evangelistically and covenantally. So I like big families. My wife and I are on our way to a big family with four little ones already. In pre-marital counseling I challenge newlyweds to think through the reasons for birth control (which I am not against) instead of just assuming it. I warn against the abortifacient possibilities of taking the Pill. I try to dissuade most young couples from the notion that they have to be married for several years before they start a family. I am pro-children big time.

But this does not mean I am anti-small family. All else being equal, I’d encourage Christians to have more than two kids (keeping above the replacement rate). But all else is not equal. There are simply too many things I don’t know about other couples to even dare to judge. I don’t know how difficult it can be too get pregnant or how difficult the pregnancies are. I don’t know the financial situation, the medical history, the family pressures, the cultural expectations. I don’t know what their kids are like, their marriage, or their attitude before the Lord. I don’t know what other God-glorifying, self-sacrificing, world-serving opportunities they are praying through. So when we see faithful Christians with two kids or ten kids, we should praise God and assume the best.

And yet, any pastor paying attention to the hearts and hurts of his church, will tell you that there is a lot of tension around the size of our families. Here is an opportunity for the devil to work discord among us. But here also is a wonderful opportunity to love our neighbors as ourselves and open wide hearts and affections to families that look different than ours (Matt. 22:39; 2 Cor. 6:11-13).

Think of all the trouble we get into in the church, and on this issue in particular, because we assume the worst. Big families assume smaller families are being selfish. Smaller families assume big families are out to prove something. Parents assume their children are rejecting their choices when they make different ones. Children assume their parents would have acted like them if they were more spiritual. And everybody assumes everybody else is assuming something about them!

This is not the way of 1 Corinthians 13 love and it has to stop. Let’s assume the best of each other on this issue and not assume we’re being judged because someone else feels strongly about the way they do things.

And let’s be sensitive to the feelings of others rather than sensitive to perceived sleights and offenses. In some churches women may feel a pressure to be pregnant. Maybe the pressure is stated, maybe unstated, maybe it’s inaccurately perceived. But it is felt, so let’s be careful not to add to the pressure. In a church where literally dozens of women are bursting at the womb almost constantly and all the talk is about latching, stripping membranes, and other pleasantries we must be careful that young women who aren’t pregnant don’t feel inferior or out of place. I can just about guarantee they feel that way already, so you’ll have to go out of your way to welcome, affirm, and include.

On the flip side, there’s no good reason—certainly no biblical ones—why families with five, six, seven, ten, or fifteen kids should be made to feel strange. There’s no need for comments like, “Really, another one?” Or, “Wow, he can’t keep his hands off you!” Those comments are hurtful, and so are the eye rolls and exasperated sighs and suspicions. Let those who have eight kids not judge those who have two, and those with one child not judge those with six.

And let me throw out one other verse while I’m at it: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). For most Christians there is almost nothing as joyful as having a baby, and almost nothing as painful as being unable to do so. This leads to lots of awkward church lobby deliberations: “Should I tell her I’m pregnant? She’s been trying for so long, my news will just make her sad. But if I don’t tell her she’ll find out eventually and be hurt that I didn’t mention anything. Maybe I’ll tell her privately. But then that will make her feel singled out. What to do?” There is no solution to this problem. Infertility hurts and babies can make it hurt more. But a step in the right direction is God’s command in Romans 12. Let every young lady rejoice with her friend’s pregnancy and let that same friend weep when her sister in Christ hasn’t or won’t experience the same joy.

I don’t pretend to get all this baby stuff right. I’m sure I’ve been woefully insensitive at times. I’ve probably made silly “you get pregnant around here just by drinking the water” jokes that have been quietly unhelpful. I need God’s help too. But as a pastor I try to set the right tone, dial down the tensions, and encourage every man and wife to assume the best (and assume everyone else is doing the same). It doesn’t make all the tensions go away. But I’m hoping it will help us love each other’s families, the small and the big, in big ways and small.

Random thoughts on birth control

Disclaimer: the big Finnlings woke up with a stomach bug this morning that laid them OUT and so my grand plans for putting together a more 'formal' blog post before they woke up didn't happen. I really should plan ahead more! Meg and Christina have already given us so much to think about, pray about, and discuss with our husbands in regards to birth control. I am grateful for Christina reminding us of this article on Desiring God's website: Does the Bible permit birth control?. After reading over it, I had to pull a few quotes that stood out to me:

The Bible nowhere forbids birth control, either explicitly or implicitly, and we should not add universal rules that are not in Scripture (cf. Psalm 119:1, 9 on the sufficiency of Scripture). What is important is our attitude in using it. Any attitude which fails to see that children are a good gift from the Lord is wrong.

Just because something is a gift from the Lord does not mean that it is wrong to be a steward of when or whether you will come into possession of it. It is wrong to reason that since A is good and a gift from the Lord, then we must pursue as much of A as possible. God has made this a world in which tradeoffs have to be made and we cannot do everything to the fullest extent... And for kingdom purposes, it might be wise to regulate the size of one's family and to regulate when the new additions to the family will likely arrive. As Wayne Grudem has said, "it is okay to place less emphasis on some good activities in order to focus on other good activities."

Although it is true that "blessed is the man whose quiver is full of [children]," we need to realize that God has not given everyone the same size quiver.

God is just as much in control of whether you have children when you use birth control as when you don't. The hands of the almighty are not tied by birth control! ...The "trust God, therefore don't use birth control" thinking is based upon the incorrect assumption that what happens "naturally" reflects "God's best" for our lives, but that what happens through human means does not.

I will be honest and tell you that Nathan and I do not have a concrete decision about the number of children we want to have. I love how as soon as one child is born people start asking if you are "done" or if you  want to have more. That is not a flip decision, people:-) These things must be weighed, and prayed over (and over and over) and discussed. I am grateful that the article above reminds us God is the one in control of all matters.

A couple of other random things to point out (some very important, some not so much):
*Birth control, according to Wikipedia, is an umbrella term for several techniques and methods used to prevent fertilization or interrupt pregnancy. So though our brains automatically jump to "you must be talking about the birth control pill", a discussion about birth control means all methods including natural family planning.
*A decision about birth control is not essential to your salvation. Having children (be it 1 or 20) WILL NOT save you. And deciding to prevent or delay childbearing WILL NOT condemn you. We are already condemned because of our sin nature and sinful actions. We are saved through the life-giving blood of Jesus Christ that he offered for us on the cross. We do not deserve it, and can do nothing to earn our salvation--it is because of God's grace that we are saved. Remember that when engaging in discussions with friends, family members, co-workers, your spouse!
*Two negative side effects of a hormonal birth control pill that are not discussed before you start taking it: weight gain, and loss of your sex drive. Though each pill affects people differently, after talking with several of my friends, I was surprised to hear that many women gained a little bit of weight when they went on the pill--only to lose it when they came off. I was on the pill for 3 years, and the month I came off the pill I dropped 5 lbs (I am not big, and it was very noticeable when I gained it and lost it!). The biggest side effect of the pill that I did NOT know was happening was a reduction of my sex drive. Because the pill regulates your hormones, it often suppresses your natural sex drive. Trust me, you don't want this to happen! I was shocked and pleased at the difference in my desires once I came off the pill (honest truth: so was my husband :-).

These are a few of my random, unorganized thoughts about birth control. Thank you as always for reading. Please feel free to 'chime in' with any thoughts, concerns, opinions, or stories. We love to hear from you! You can see past blog posts on Birth Control under that label on the right-hand menu. And don't forget:


Would anyone like to write a guest post about what they chose as far as permanent birth control? Or why you did not choose this option? Please email us if you would like to share.

Three is enough for me!

Ok, so it hasn't always been enough for me! Being content with my three beautiful babies has not come quickly or easily. The number of biological kiddos in our family was decided for me earlier this year. In some ways, I'm grateful. My pregnancies are not easy and though I desire more children, its probably best that I don't put my body through that again. But that decision isn't up to me anymore! In addition, my husband and I don't have to wrestle with considering more permanent birth control options (vasectomy, tubal ligation or newer methods like Essure). On the other hand, I've grieved a little over Anna being my last baby. This fact however, has led me to savor more moments with her as well.

(Oh yeah! Thanks for voting in my STTN poll! I should go add my vote for Anna. She has started sleeping from about 7pm-7am at 4 months old. Praise the Lord. She is still crying some at bedtime, but once she's down, she's down. And I'm much more rested as well!) 

In January of this year, I had my last remaining ovary removed. My first was removed in July of 2010 when it was found to have a tumor on it. I'm not sure I ever updated, but after that first surgery my right ovary was found to have similar looking cyst/tumor on it as well. My doctors were still watching it when I got pregnant in October of 2010. They had advised against pregnancy, though in the words of my OB, "No one can tell you NOT to get pregnant." Yes, doc, we know! :)

My husband and I got to the point where we both felt very strongly that we needed to completely give this area over the Lord if we thought he might want more kids for us. I was able to conceive with just that one, tumor filled ovary. And my OB was quite shocked when I called, just three weeks after his above comment, to schedule my first prenatal appointment. :)

I had my last ovary removed when I was 18 weeks pregnant. We are so thankful that the Lord allowed that surgery to go smoothly and that he sustained the life of our sweet Anna. We were actually able to find out we were having a girl two days before the surgery. Sweet providence indeed!

I do still have my uterus, so after this last complicated delivery my OB was sure to warn me with, "Don't you even think about putting any donor eggs in that uterus!" Ha! (I'm not even sure that's possible...)

We do think this is the Lord's way of leading us to adoption at some point down the road. We will not rule out that possibility, though we aren't actively pursuing it at this time. Still praying about it and waiting to get my hands on this book! Just the other day, Adeline and I had this conversation even though I've never directly discussed any of this with her...

A: Mommy, I really want a baby brother. But you can't have one. 

Me: Do you mean you wanted Anna to be a boy?
A: No, I want Anna AND a baby brother. But you can't have one.
Me: Why can't I have one?
A: Because the doctor cut your tummy and now you can't have anymore babies.

At this point, I'm wondering how much else she knows about this topic...I didn't think this conversation had to happen until at least a few years past her wise age of THREE! The last thing she added was:

"I know! I'll just get a baby brother another day!"

Maybe we just will, sweet Adeline! :)

If you're curious as to my take on birth control prior to having my ovaries removed, I wrote about it here. It includes links to a wonderful article from Desiring God concerning birth control and family size.

Now back to the bigger question that I have. Permanent birth control options (sterilization sounds so strange...but I guess that's what it is?!). I have many friends going through those decisions right now and actually most have chosen vasectomy. I'm hoping to recruit one of them to write a guest post...since as far as I know, none of the POH husbands have made a decision on that yet.

In the meantime, we wanted to ask our readers if anyone would like to write a guest post about what they chose as far as permanent birth control? Or why you did not choose this option? Please email us if you would like to share. 

While we don't usually shy away from controversial topics, please remember to be respectful in your comments concerning this issue! Remember this article!!  :)

October Topic: Birth Control

The POH topic for October is birth control. I want to start off by saying that I know this can be a hot topic among believers and my post is not meant to stir up a lot of the rights and wrongs of birth control. I'm simply going to tell you where our family is on this issue right now and why.

When I first got married, I decided to use a hormonal pill form of birth control that was "only" supposed to keep me from ovulating each month. I researched it as much as I knew how to ensure that it would in no way cause a miscarriage/ abortion if I somehow managed to get pregnant, and then I started taking it about a month before my wedding day to make certain that I did not suffer any major side effects from it. Before I started taking the pill, my cycle was completely normal and regular with the obvious signs of ovulation. When we stopped taking the pill to try to get pregnant 1.5 years later, my cycle never went back to normal. My cycles were totally random and I was not ovulating very often, if at all. We struggled with infertility for a deeply painful, emotional, roller coaster year (I blogged about it at POH HERE) and were finally able to conceive with the help of Clomid, a drug that helps you ovulate.

Because of that struggle, I will never, ever take any form of hormonal birth control again. I am fully convinced that the pill disrupted the natural, God-given rhythm of my body. I know that birth control does not affect everyone in this way and I have friends who went off the pill and got pregnant the very next month, and even some who have gotten pregnant while on the pill. But it definitely affected me adversely and I am not taking any chances and will never take any form of birth control again. In addition, the hormonal form of birth control did cause me headaches, mood swings, and a lowered immune system. I am a much healthier person for being off the pill and I will never use it again.

So where does that leave us? After we struggled with infertility, my husband and I decided not to use any form of birth control at all for the time being. We were hoping for several children and did not want to miss any chances! Thankfully, we did not struggle with infertility again after the first baby. Because of breastfeeding, my cycle did not usually return again for almost a year, but each time we quickly got pregnant again after it returned.

How long will we continue to use no form of birth control? I honestly do not know. We are just going to continue doing what we are doing until God shows us it is time to stop. How will we know if/when it is time to stop getting pregnant? This is something I have thought about a lot and I simply have faith in God to make it clear to us. He has clearly guided us through every big decision we have made and I trust Him to do the same in this matter. I have already been praying that God will prepare my heart when it is time because I absolutely love having babies and it will be very difficult for me emotionally when it is time to stop. But when God does show us that it is time, we will simply use the natural fertility awareness method as described in the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

I do wonder if my physical condition will be the way God chooses to show us that it is time to stop... each pregnancy has seemed to double in difficulty and I have a few issues that grow worse and more serious with every pregnancy. It could be that the next pregnancy (if God allows another) will be my last because of those issues. I am trying to prepare myself for such a possibility.

Regardless of when my child-bearing days are over, we plan to adopt at some point and are praying for God's timing in that matter. I would love to adopt babies around the same age as my own so that they could grow up together. But we also like the idea of waiting until our girls are older (teenagers) and could really help and learn about caring for a newborn. One of the pastors at the church we previously attended adopted a baby when his daughters were in high school and their love and care for the baby was such a beautiful thing. And even with the big age difference, they are such good friends today. So we are definitely praying about when God would like us to adopt. Until then, I am just ever so grateful that God has blessed me with these sweet girls:

I hope this post hasn't been too personal or TMI. I just wanted to be completely honest and share where we are right now concerning birth control. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic as well.

Wordless Wednesday

Subtitle: When you give the Finnlings some glue...

Winter the Dolphin, our first Science unit!

Last year as I began to plan our homeschool year, science was one area that I struggled with what to do. Mainly for two reasons...

1. I knew it was not absolutely necessary at this age and I didn't want to spend money on it.
2. Yet, I knew that Will and I both would love it.

I opted to not purchase any set science curriculum and just go with whatever for this year. I did purchase a few books that Sonlight uses in their science curriculum. I planned to use those to base some unit studies off of. For example, the first one Will chose was this Usborne book, Under the Sea.



(All of the science books I ordered were Usborne books and I really love them.) So, we read the first few sections on different sea life. I let Will chose which creature he wanted to explore more...dolphins or sharks. He chose dolphins! (Though asked that we do sharks next. :)

Next, I started looking for more dolphin resources. My goal for each unit we do is to include:

1. At least one "experiment" where he begans to understand basic scientific principles, inquiry based investigations and basic data collection.
2. A lapbook where he can showcase what he has learned about that topic.
3. A few books in addition to our main Usborne book. I'm trying to include some readers that Will can read too in this so he's practicing his reading.
4. Any appropriate fieldtrips to local places that may reinforce what he's learned. (Day trip to the beach?? :)

After I started planning our dolphin unit, I realized that this is PERFECT timing because of the movie, Dolphin Tale!! I learned that the movie is based on the story in the book, Winter's Tail.



This was the reader I found that Will could read part of himself. He liked this book too:




I have since found a wealth of lesson plan ideas about the book, Winter's Tail.

Winter's Tail site
Winter at Scholastic
Homeschool Movie Club Dolphin Tale Curriculum (AWESOME!)

I have found PLENTY to build a solid unit around dolphins. We have done the most from the Homeschool Movie Club curriculum, including our "experiment" where we investigated sinking and floating. We've also played games at the other sites. Probably my favorite was the live webcam we found!! We got to watch Winter and friends at the Clearwater Aquarium via live webcam.

Here is a live shot I took while we watched. We think this Dolphin was Winter, though it was difficult to tell.

We still have to finish our Dolphin lapbook and of course, go see the movie! Stay tuned for pics of the lapbook. So far Will is loving science! Almost as much as I do! :)

Finding time to potty train the second child...

A month before Abbi was due, I thought I'd see if Karlie would learn to use the potty... so I wouldn't have 2 in diapers at the same time. She did great (way better than I expected), but my horrible pregnancy back could not handle running her to the potty every time she realized she had to go and I gave it up after a day. I could hardly move that night. Call me a quitter if you want, but the girl wasn't even two yet and bending over was not my forte with a humongous belly!

Just one month after Abbi was born, Karlie decided she wanted to go potty. For two weeks straight, she used the potty every time Karis did. (Karis only goes 3 times a day: when she wakes up, before naps at 1:00, and before bed at 7:00) That would obviously have been the "perfect time" to officially bare her bum and get rid of diapers, but with a one month old who was nursing constantly and not sleeping much at night, I just didn't have the energy to fool with it. And I had the bizarre idea that Karis might potty train her sister all by herself so why interfere? Unfortunately, Karlie got bored with the whole thing after 2 weeks of being a potty pro and I was too tired to force the issue. I decided to wait for warmer weather.

When summertime hit, Karlie was staying dry in between diaper changes, usually filling it up only at naptime and bedtime. I knew she was ready but was amazed at the stubbornness of my two year old. She loved her new undies and kept them dry, would sit on the potty as often as I asked, but simply refused to fill it up. Treats did not matter. Food was obviously not the way to her heart as it was for Karis :) We had much traveling planned for the summer and I didn't want to fool with potential accidents or on our trips so I decided to give her until our last trip was completed and then give all her diapers to Abbi, come what may :)

We came home from our last trip two weeks ago and the very next morning Karlie gave all her diapers to Abbi. We had been talking about this exciting day that Karlie would finally be a big girl and she was ready and so excited. I had also thought really hard about what Karlie likes to do more than anything and had a major breakthrough: STICKERS! My girl will do stickers all day long if the stickers don't run out! So I ordered an awesome sticker book for her and informed her that every time she put something in her potty, she could do a whole page. After that first page, she got excited and was a pro from then on. She only had one accident the entire time and that was really my fault for forgetting to remind her to go because she had been doing so well. She is even staying dry at nap time!

So on the one hand, I feel a little guilty for making her wait so long to learn how to use the potty because the delay was really my fault each time. I just didn't have the time/ energy to persevere. But on the other hand, waiting so long made it really easy when I was finally ready to go for it! I'm so proud of my big girl!

What about you? Did your second child copy the older child and potty train easily or did you find it hard to find the time to teach him/her?

Triumphs and Struggles

Parenting has an ebb and flow--there are frequent ups and downs, and when you feel like you have something under control, something new and unexpected 'pops' up. Bad habits seem to be conquered and then they reappear--good habits and tendencies look established, but then one bad day throws it all. It should continually remind us that everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glory (Rom. 3:23), but that Christ became sin for us so that we might be made righteous in His sight (2 Cor. 5:21). We must turn to Christ and rely on him for our salvation, and for the strength to parent our children! In an effort to 'keep it real', I thought I would share some triumphs and struggles I am having with each of my children. Perhaps something my family is going through will be an encouragement to you, and we will all realize that there is nothing new under the sun!

Eleanor, age 9 months

Triumphs: Eleanor is the sweetest, easy-going baby a mom could want. She loves her big siblings, and is good natured enough to go to just about anyone who wants to hold her. After 'army crawling' for a couple of weeks and rolling around like crazy before then, she crawled a few paces last night. The world is changing for her, and that is very exciting!
Struggles: E has been battling a cold, and as such her sleep during the day and overnight have been erratic. She is still very sweet for the most part. The only other major struggle we have is that 'people food' sometimes makes her constipated. Having a little baby who struggles to poop is sad :-(

 Baxter, age 3 years

Triumphs: After taking a long time to form words, Baxter's vocabulary is exploding and he can hold conversations and tell stories with the best of them. His imagination is growing, as is his appetite! Overnight it seems that he just can't get enough to eat. I am glad to see it, though, because he was a fairly picky eater who didn't consume much...and now I can't keep him satisfied! He takes in much more than I realized, as I recently quizzed him on the catechism we use with Georgia and he knew most of the answers! B is very affectionate, and loves snuggle times with Mommy and Daddy, and of course we don't mind that.
Struggles: Though he talks A LOT, he has a slight lisp which can make some words hard to understand (especially for someone who is not mom). He struggles with controlling his temper, and is entering a "being belligerent and testing parents" phase. Also, we have dealt with this several times in his life, but he has a hard time going back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night. And he wakes up screaming or saying "OW!" or both. We have to put Georgia in a separate room to sleep while we help sort Baxter out. We are right in the middle of this right now, and it's exhausting. He is doing the same thing at naptime and the only time he complains about something hurting is when he wakes up from sleep OR is about to be disciplined. Pray for us to figure out what to do.

Georgia, age ALMOST 5 years (birthday Oct 21)

Triumphs: Georgia is finding great delight in being a helper to Mommy, and loving on her younger brother and sister. She plays so well with B and E both! She never minds if E pokes her face or pulls her hair (as long as it is not too hard). Her imagination is exploding, and she is making up wonderful stories and imaginary worlds and scenarios for the kids to play. G too is a loving, affectionate child who just wants Mommy and Daddy to pay attention to her and be close to her. She is asking a lot of great questions about God, Jesus, the Bible, and heaven.
Struggles: G continues to be a drama queen, especially if she hasn't slept well. Though she is exercising more self-control, she still pitches a spectacular fit if she has to be spanked (screaming, struggling and more). Her talking back has taken on a sassier tone as she has aged, and she has started throwing in some "that's not fair!" and other accusations when she does not get her way.

So that's my kids! I wanted to type up some of our triumphs because it is so very easy to be distracted by the struggles in our lives. I am always thankful for God's grace in the trenches of parenting. What triumphs or struggles are you dealing with right now?

Sleeping Through the Night

Let's just make an abbreviation for this one...STTN.

Anna in her Rock n' Play. She slept well here for a while. Things went downhill when we made the move to the crib.

I will not lie. I am not one to gush over rocking my baby for hours on end, especially in the middle of the night. And this one, our third baby Anna, may have needed the most middle of the night rocking yet. She is wearing me out!

I am editing this to add that although this is tough for me, I am thankful for those times of just me and her with no siblings to interrupt. Getting to pray for her and have sweet quiet time is a blessing. Maybe she just wants the quiet time with Mommy too and I should be flattered that she is still not STTN. :)

Our first was a sleeping champ. He was the dream baby! He had a schedule from very early on and we honestly did very little sleep training. He loved to sleep and it came easily. He STTN at 12 weeks (and he was a preemie that was 7 weeks early!).

Our second was our fussiest. Sleep did not come as easily and still to this day she needs less sleep than her brother. She required the carseat on the dryer to sleep for the first several months of her life. However, after about 12 weeks or so, she would stay asleep easily at night once you got her to sleep. She also probably STTN around 3 months. (Too bad I don't have true record of this!) Eventually we had to let her cry it out at bedtime, around 4 or 5 months old. But I knew that once she went to sleep, she'd sleep through the night.

Enter the third child. Not our fussiest, but easily the one who has had the most night wakings. The longest stretch of sleep she has given us was 8 hours at about 9 weeks old. However, it happened only one time after a traumatic ER visit when she was pretty sick and feverish. It was totally a sick thing. Since then, the longest she's gone is about 5-6 hours. I know that doctors consider that STTN, but I don't. :)

The biggest problem is how long it takes her to fall back asleep after waking to eat. She is 4 months old now and one night last week I was up with her from 12-3:30am!

Let me give two key pieces of info now:

1. She still falls asleep in her swing for all sleep times. Naps are 100% in her swing (which is completely against the advice of my FAVORITE sleep book...but with the third, you really do whatcha gotta do!). Swaddle, paci, swing and she's out. At bedtime, I move her to the crib an hour or so later. She's down for the night around 6:30 or 7, but wakes between 12 and 1am and then often after that.

2. We were not ok with letting her cry too long due to the hoarse voice she has had since about 5 weeks old. We didn't want to make it worse by letting her cry for an hour at bedtime and naps (something I am totally ok with, though I know - and completely understand - that some aren't!). We think its due to reflux and she's been on a stronger med for a few weeks now.

I'm fairly certain these two things have contributed to her night waking frequency. I cannot wait for her to sleep from 6:30pm to 6:30am.

I tell you all this to preface the poll I've added to the right sidebar! Maybe this is selfish, but I think I want to know that my other two STTN on the early side and that our third is only slightly spoiled. :) Meaning, she's more average in the fact that she still hasn't STTN at 4 months. Please, tell me that is true and that I haven't ruined her sleeping habits for the rest of her life.

Since you can't vote more than once, just pick one of your children. (Maybe the one who STTN the latest?? :)

We are officially going to be crying it out at bedtime tonight. No more swing for bedtime. Once we master bedtime, then we'll move to ditching the swing for naps. She has a good routine, so hopefully this won't be too painful.

Pray for us! And offer your own stories that will give myself and others hope that babies do eventually STTN.

Giveaway Winner!

Sorry this is late, but I did not forget about our giveaway! We had 59 comments and the winner was #2, Kathleen! Since you didn't leave an email address - I'll go and leave a comment on your blog! Please contact us as soon as possible so we can get this book mailed out. 

Thanks to all who entered! We love doing giveaways. 

Secondary Infertility(?)

I'm going a little personal today, so brace yourselves!

I shared awhile back that my husband and I have been trying to have another baby. This month marks our one year of trying. I thought I would give a little update on how I'm feeling about it all and what our next steps will be.

One of the things that I frequently feel is that I have the heart and mindset of a mom of many children. I would have loved to have a "stair step" set of children, you know, 5 under 5 and all that. So when I read blogs of these moms or read stories about them, I feel like I want to relate. I used to think, "oh, that will be me someday soon." As more and more space grows between Joel (my youngest) and the possibility of another child, I feel that my family dynamic will be different. I look at the growing gap and think oh, man, I'm not even one kid behind now - I'm two kids behind! I 'should' have had one when Joel was 1.5 and another when he was 3. I'm not even pregnant now, so he will turn 4 before another baby could even be born. These are the kinds of thoughts that run around in my head!! I'm not making any claims that these are rational thoughts, but I wanted to share with you in case someone else out there feels this way. So when another mom talks to me and makes a comment on bigger families and says she could never do that, I realize that she is trying to relate to me because I have two kids just like her. It kind of takes me by surprise because I don't think of myself as a "just two kids" kind of person. But more on that in a second...

As far as the next step, we are going to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist this week. I have gone back and forth about this decision. My husband and I have said that we don't have any intentions of doing any fertility treatments (a personal decision we've reached for ourselves only) but I still feel like I want to go and at least see if we can find out what's going on. I couldn't explain why until yesterday when our pastor shared something during the sermon and I was like, "yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say." He said that there are basically three answers to prayer - yes, no, and wait. The yeses are great, of course. The nos are tough, but at least they're an answer. The wait is the hardest because it requires us to really wait on God and trust in him (thus making it the hardest but the most beneficial! Ugh!). I guess I've been feeling that if I can't have a "yes" to having another baby, I'd rather have a "no" and move on than a "wait". Even as I type this I see that that is me choosing what is more comfortable for me than what is going to stretch me. Again, remember, I gave the disclaimer that I was going to get personal today!

So we'll head to the guy this week and see what he has to say. Ugh.

And either way, back to the bigger family thing, we are still walking down our road to adoption sometime in the future. We just joined a program here in Chicago called Safe Families, which is like Foster Care Light (we don't receive any money and the placements are for a short amount of time to provide relief for families in need without abuse or neglect). And we'll probably start our foster care classes this winter/spring on the road to Foster Adoption. We will continue to walk this road regardless of whether I get pregnant again or not. But there is still the waiting and the longing and the trying to find closure.

So, that's my super personal post for you this Monday morning!! Please share any thoughts you have - whether you have been here before or are here now. I'd love to hear what you all have to say.