Why I love having a "mother's helper"

When I was little, a sweet girl from my church named Kim often came over to help my mom. She would play with my brother and me and help my mom around the house. She did this for several years. I think she was around ten years old when she started, but as she grew older, my mom gave her more responsibility and she quickly became my favorite babysitter! I vividly remember begging my Mom to ask her to babysit us because I loved her so much. It made me feel so special to have a teenager take interest in me and she was just so much fun! We are still friends to this day and enjoy keeping up with each other through Facebook.

When I gave birth to my own daughter many years later, my Mom started encouraging me to find someone to come over and help me. But I was too prideful and didn't want to inconvenience anyone. And I had my own little routine going on at home and wasn't eager to mess it up.

Thankfully, after my second daughter was born, a kind lady at church came up to me and said that her daughter (12 years old) really wanted to get some experience with younger children and she wondered if Lindsay could come play with my girls every other week. By this time, I was sleep deprived and gratefully accepted her offer. I had no idea how much I would enjoy getting to know this young lady!

Lindsay has been coming over to my house every other Monday for about a year and a half now and oh, how I look forward to those Mondays! Here are some reasons:

1. I get so much done -- My girls are totally enamored with Lindsay and I can actually cross things off my to-do list without being interrupted every other minute with questions or arguing or "helping" that prolongs the chore. (Don't get me wrong; I LOVE to do things with my girls and thoroughly enjoy teaching them how to be homemakers, but it sure is nice to get a break twice a month to accomplish things in record time :) I'm always available in case they need me, but she pretty much entertains them all by herself. A lot of times, I do my baking or meat-seasoning/cooking for the month when she is here because I know that I will actually have time to focus on what I am doing without interruption.

2. I enjoy her company -- I stay at home with my little ones most of the week and I really enjoy chatting with another girl. She may be young, but is very perceptive and I truly enjoy our conversations. Sometimes we just chat about my girls or upcoming activities at church, but we often also have insightful conversations about things like relationships, nutrition, future plans, etc.

3. She makes my girls feel special -- They talk about her all week long, hope that she will be at every church activity, and proudly show off the crafts they make with her.

4. She is a great role model for my girls -- Karis watches every one of the youth very closely at church; she is often telling me things that they did or said throughout the week. She looks up to all of them, but especially to Lindsay, and I am grateful that Lindsay is a godly example for her to follow.

5. My girls enjoy different learning techniques and educational toys -- Lindsay has compiled a bag full of some special toys -- books, puzzles, games, etc, that she always brings and they really look forward to doing them with her. She often brings a special snack or craft for the girls to enjoy also, which they absolutely love!

6. She often helps out at church as well -- Our church is small and the kids stay in the service with us. I love having my girls with us, but sometimes (especially when my husband is leading the teaching time and I'm trying to rock my baby to sleep), they can be quite a handful. Since Lindsay has such a great relationship with my girls, she notices when they get restless and will often come sit with them and color, do stickers, etc, so that Mark and I can focus on the teaching. Such a blessing!

7. Not only is she helping me and my girls, but I have the opportunity to mentor her as well -- After studying Titus 2:3-5, I am convinced that it is my duty (and joy!) to encourage younger girls to be godly wives and mothers. This is an easy and fun way to do that. Over the past year and a half, I have seen Lindsay grow in confidence and ability in taking care of my girls and I am so excited for her.

What about you? Have you been blessed with a special "mother's helper" or even been one yourself? If you have little children, I would greatly encourage you to look around your church and find one of the young girls who takes interest in your kids and invite her into your lives. You will both be blessed by the experience! And if you have older girls, ask them if they would like to get more experience with children by helping a Mama a few times a month. They will learn a lot and be a blessing at the same time!

Leah F's links (June 29, 2011)

Earlier this week, I read this post about teaching your children about missions. It was originally posted on Desiring God's website several years ago, but it is helpful to be reminded of ways to share a love of the gospel with our children. For more ideas on becoming a missional family, check out the resources offered here at Treasuring Christ Curriculum's website (additional plug--it's a great curriculum developed for K-12 to be used in churches, and written by one of my dearest friends!)

And, just because I'm a nerd, married to a real history nerd, I have to recommend this article on women in church history: Women In Black Too: The Untold Story of Women and the Reformation. Several years ago, I took the class Women in Church History here at SEBTS. It was a small class of just 5 ladies, taught by the brilliant Amanda Aucoin, and I loved it. The article talks about several women we covered in our class discussions (which were always a lot of fun!).

So those are my random links for the week. If the long article on women in church history intrigues you, check out this new book--it's on my wishlist:-)

What blog posts or articles have caught your eye this week?

The Wisdom of a Mentor (advice on dealing with Back Talk)

A friend stopped by tonight to encourage me in my efforts to train up Samuel. What a blessing! She brought over the book "For Instruction in Righteousness" by Pam Forster (published by Doorposts). This is a gem of a book! The index lists a multitude of sins that you may see in your child. Each chapter is about 3-4 pages long. To give you an idea of how the book is laid out, I decided to look up the chapter on "Scoffer/Scorner". The chapter gives:

General information and commandments about this sin - a list of 11 Scripture references.

What happens, or should happen, to the scorner - a list of 17 Scripture references, some with additional ideas of how that consequence may look in the life of your child (for example, Pr. 13:18 Poverty and shame - take away belongings and rights).

The sin of scorning is likened to - a list of 3 Scripture references and a teachable idea (ex. Isa. 5:24 Root as rottenness, blossom as dust - Examine the roots of shriveled plants in the garden; observe what happens to flowers after they are picked.)

Stories that illustrate the consequences of scornfulness - 11 stories to read from the Bible.

The blessings of humility and a teachable spirit - a list of 8 Scripture references, some with ideas (ex. Pr. 19:25 Reproof leads to understanding - help the child to see his own growth and progress as he correctly responds to discipline)

Stories that illustrate the blessings of a teachable spirit - 2 stories to read from the Bible.

Verses to memorize - 4 verses

Scriptural principles to follow when dealing with a scoffer - a page and a half of Biblical wisdom/insight as well as ways to pray for your child.

Isn't that awesome?!

Also, Ellen shared with me some experiences of raising her own three children as well as fond memories she has of them growing up. She allowed me to talk about how I'm feeling about things and what I'd like to see. Then she prayed with me and for me.

This was such a sweet encouragement for me and a challenge to be a godly mother. My plan is to sit down with Samuel in the morning and talk about the issue of talking back, look through the Bible together to see what it has to say about it, and then agree together with him on a consequence for disobeying as well as a promise to be looking for him to answer with respect. Hopefully we can really focus on this this week and then move on.

As for the new book, I am definitely going to be ordering one of these and keeping it on hand! It is such an awesome resource!

How to deal with Talking Back

Have any of the following conversations ever taken place at your house?

Mom: Son, eat your sandwich please.
Son: No, YOU eat your sandwich.

Mom: Son, it's time to pick up our toys and go to bed.
Son: NO!! I'm NOT going to pick up my toys. It's NOT time for bed.

Mom: Son, please don't call your brother names. It's not kind.
Son: No, my BROTHER's not kind. HE's mean. HE's a stinky head.

Some variation of all three have transpired in our home over the past two weeks. My almost 5 year old has recently started talking back, sometimes as many as 10+ times per day. Talking back shows a lack of respect for mom as well as a heart that is hardened to receiving instruction.

My original attack on this back talk was to address it directly. As soon as Sam would talk back, I would get down to his level and say, "Samuel, that is talking back and it is not allowed. You need to respond 'yes, mommy'." He would say "okay, mommy" and we would move on. After repeating this over and over throughout the day I decided that my approach wasn't working.

So I took to the internet. I searched "how to discipline talking back". A lot of the information I found encouraged me to model positive behavior for my child (i.e. not be a back talker myself) and to ignore the behavior. I don't believe Samuel is seeing back talking modeled in our home. And I can't agree that ignoring the problem is the best solution. Back talk is the symptom of a deeper issue and ignoring it doesn't solve the symptom or the underlying sin. It allows the problem to grow and fester.

I sat down and tried to discern what was really going on. I believe talking back is a symptom of the deeper issues of not respecting a parent and having a foolish heart that doesn't receive instruction. Here are some proverbs I pondered:

Proverbs 10:17 - He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Proverbs 1:8 - Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

Proverbs 13:1 - A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.

Proverbs 13:13 - He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded.

My project for the next day or so is to come up with a new plan of attack on dealing with back talk in our home. I have been praying today for wisdom in how to creatively approach this as well as for tenderness of heart for my son and the power of the Spirit to change his heart.

A mentor friend is coming over tomorrow evening to talk with me about the issue and she's bringing along a book she wants me to read. I'll post about our conversation as well as the book after our conversation tomorrow.

Have you had to deal with back talking in your home? What did you do and what made you decide to do that? What has worked for you and what has not?

Having fun in the summer sun...

Since it has been a while since I have posted on POH, I thought that I would also start this week by giving you a brief update on what my family has been up to:

My big helper, Karis Lynn, turned 4 years old! Apparently being 4 makes a big difference because suddenly "big girls eat everything!" and focus much better on following directions. Karis loves to cut things with her big-girl scissors, make pretty pictures with stamps, tell Karlie how to do everything, help Abbi by giving her toys and reading books to her, cook with Mama, and play ball with Daddy.

My spunky little Karlie Sue is 2 1/2 years old. She has no fear of trying new things and keeps me on my toes on a regular basis. She stubbornly dislikes the potty, but has great control so she runs around in her big-girl underwear, staying dry until I put a diaper on her for nap-time. (Yes; I know I need to just bite the bullet and get rid of that diaper, but I haven't had the nerve yet :) She is a munchkin with boundless energy and will often just chatter and sing away during nap time while Karis is conked out right beside her. She loves to do anything that Karis does and although she will tell you she is 2 years old, she pretty much believes that she is 4 like Karis :)

My sweet baby, Abbi Grace, turned 4 months old! She is now about 15 pounds and such a happy baby! She loves to play in water and watch her sisters do anything. She is starting to sleep longer stretches at night and go to bed early (around 7:00) like her big sisters. (Yay for Mama and Daddy having time alone to hang out in the evenings again!)

This summer our family is unable to take a long vacation, so we have decided to try to make quick trips to lots of fun places instead. The past 3 weekends we...

Made a day trip to the NC Ashboro zoo! It was ridiculously hot, but the girls were so excited that they did not complain a bit! We had a blast!

We made a day trip to Wrightsville Beach with our church! What a blessing to go with our church family! It was wonderful to have so many people helping us carry things and wanting to play with the girls!

For Father's Day, we had a fun day at a nearby lake! The girls loved having water they could "swim" in and still be able to touch the bottom. We will probably make many more day trips to the lake this summer!

It has been so unbelievably hot that most of our fun outside times have to include water :) But the girls love to play in the sprinkler!

And they think our little kiddie pool is ever so exciting!

We've also spent many days at the library, playing soccer with Daddy at work, and going to swim lessons.

What about you? How are you having fun in the summer heat? I'd love to hear about it and if you have blogged about it, feel free to share links in the comments so that we can get to know you better and learn from your ideas!

The Finnlings this summer

For my first random post of the summer, I thought I would catch you up on life with the Finnlings!


Georgia is 4 1/2 years old and grows taller and more eloquent every day. She is tall for her age, and I find it hard to keep her in appropriate length clothes and the right size shoes! Fun facts about Georgia:
*she loves the pool this year! last year she was whiny and clingy, but between swimming lessons (best investment ever!) and the discovery that she can walk along the shallow end by herself, she has LOVED pool time.
*her vocabulary amazes me--recently she told me something was "marvelous". Really, what child talks like that? But the downside is...
*she talks NON STOP! She is very inquisitive and asks questions about everything, whether it is what happens next in the book or movie that she knows, or the constant "what are we going to do today?" If anyone has an answer to the "what are we going to do today?" question, I'd love to hear it!
*she sings her sentences a lot. I'd like to thank Annie from Little Einsteins for that! Georgia loves to sing "Mommy, what are we having for lunch" or something similar to a classical music tune (usually something from the Nutcracker Suite)
*she is an affectionate girl who responds well to attention and affection. She does NOT respond well to discipline, and when she has to be spanked she throws an amazing fit of screaming
*she LOVES popsicles right now (though I suppose she would eat them year round)
*princesses and fairies are still among her favorites



Baxter is 2 1/2 and a bundle of energy. Though he likes to go and do, he is also a sensitive, affectionate little guy. Fun facts about Bax:
*he too loves the water! He doesn't have quite the daredevil skills he had last year, but he enjoys playing in the water and splashing around.
*my husband was out of the country for 12 days recently, and during that time, Baxter seemed to 'revert' to a childishness he didn't have before. He was fussier about things, cried more, and claimed he couldn't do things that I knew he could (like using utensils for his food). I think it was a way to claim attention, and we are still working through it now
*he loves cars and trucks and things with wheels! He has several matchbox cars, and each one serves a different purpose. Heaven forbid if you can't find the exact right blue car when he wants it!
*he has developed more sound effects, from cars racing to bombs going off to crashes by various vehicles. He loves it when his daddy sings "the wheels on the bus" but he inserts "the gun/dragon/bomb on the bus" for fun sound effects (I promise we aren't a violent family)
*he truly is the most affectionate boy. He likes to snuggle and hug, and is getting better about sharing that love with his older sister in addition to his mommy and daddy.
*he loves men. We just returned from a vacation with Nathan's family, and Baxter would have loved for it to have been a men's only trip. He adores his Papa (Nathan's daddy), and thought Uncle Patrick was a lot of fun too
*we saw a little league baseball game this summer (see above picture), and aside from digging in the dirt, Baxter thought the game was super cool. He kept trying to grab baseball bats!


Eleanor is 5 1/2 months old, and is truly a bundle of joy. God has graciously blessed us with happy, easy going babies, and Eleanor is the most mellow of all my children! Fun facts about Eleanor:
*she is a CHUNK! For being the smallest of my babies at birth, she rapidly caught up to her siblings and has good amounts of chubby baby-ness :-) I love the little rolls at her ankles and hands, and the dimples on her fingers
*similar to her siblings, she loves the water. When introduced to the pool recently, she wanted to put her face in the water. I pray this love of water continues through her whole life
*she has been sleeping through the night for a couple of months now at least. None of my kids slept through the night 'immediately' or 'early', but Eleanor has settled into it quite naturally
*she truly does not fuss much at all. She loves to be held and talked to, but she can entertain herself on the floor or in her bouncy seat for a long time as well.
*she does not mind other people holding her. One day during our vacation she met Nathan's three grandparents, all of whom held her. That was in addition to Mimi, Papa, Uncle Patrick and Aunt Anita being around, and yet with all those new faces/hands, she did not fuss or get upset
*she loves her older siblings. They can always make her laugh
*she is a great nurser, but has entered the easily distracted phase where at times she wants to play more than eat ;-)
*she CAN roll over, but she mostly just rolls from side to side right now!

I am truly blessed to call these children my own! We have our struggles and challenges, but nothing that is impossible to handle, by God's grace and through His strength. Thanks for letting me share a little about our lives with you!

Anna's Birth Story

Believe it or not, here is a shortened version of Anna's birth story. I left out the beginning where I documented the complications we experienced this pregnancy. They were all the same as before with Will and Adeline...high blood pressure and/or preeclampsia, meds, bedrest, non-stress tests, etc. 

By 36 weeks, we had added an additional blood pressure med (hydralazine) and Dr. A had decided to move my scheduled c-section (as if we would make it that far!) to 38 weeks. On Tuesday May 31^st I saw Dr. Gray in the office. Anna failed the NST (with some heart decels, likely due to the bp meds) and got a BPP. Dr. G even wondered out loud if we were “pushing our luck” with waiting to deliver. So, that day my c-section date was changed to Monday June 13^th with Dr. A. (I would have been 38w3d).

At this point, Jacob and I thought for sure that when we saw Dr. A on Friday (June 3^rd, 37 weeks exactly), we would likely be delivering if she looked like she did on Tuesday. However…

That afternoon, Anna had different plans. After two (?) weeks on real bed rest, I was getting restless. Most days, we had babysitters watch Will and Adeline in the morning. They napped in the afternoon until Daddy came home at 4:15. This particular day, we were headed to Gigi’s for weekly dinner. Before that, I decided it was ok to make a quick trip with the fam to Target. So I walked around for 20 minutes or so as we got a few things. We then went on to dinner at Gigi’s.

That night, after the big kids were in bed, I started not feeling well. (In retrospect, I hadn’t felt well all day with some diarrhea and odd cravings…for coffee which I hadn’t had in months!) By 9:30, I realized I was having contractions, but thought they were due to the super HOT (upper 90’s!) weather and not drinking enough water. So I drank some water and lay down. They continued and I was questioning if they were really due to dehydration. (In the meantime, Jacob had already gone to bed...) I decided to get ready for bed and watch some tv from bed at 10pm. (Ok, I'll admit that I was watching 16 and Pregnant on MTV...)

From 10-10:30, I had contractions about every 8-10 minutes. They were definitely feeling different with LOTS of painful pressure very low. I was getting a little worried and thought about calling the doc, but hadn’t woken Jacob yet. At 10:30, I had a contraction that was my most painful yet and I instantly KNEW what was about to happen…

I felt the pop and jumped out of bed realizing that my water had broken! I was only 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I shouted to Jacob that my water had broken. He was confused at first and didn’t believe me until he saw the puddles in the bathroom! At this point, I’m panicking a little as I had never considered this scenario as the way things would happen. I was also worried something was wrong that had sent me into labor. (Remember, she failed the NST earlier that day.)

I called the doctor to let him know we were coming in and Dr. Zimmerman was a little confused. He obviously had forgotten that we were not planning to labor and needed a c-section asap! Once he realized that, he said he’d meet us at labor and delivery. (Gigi came over to stay with the big kids.)

I continued to have contractions over the next three hours leading up to the c-section. Riding in the car with contractions is NOT fun!! They were eventually 5 minutes apart. In addition, no one had ever warned me that if your water breaks you will continue to leak – or in my case, gush…flooding L&D triage – until the baby is out! I was so relieved when they finally got her heartbeat on the monitors! I was also relieved when we saw Dr. Z who reasurred me that it was the pressure (literally) from my high blood pressure that caused my water to break early and baby was still doing ok!

I cannot complain though about this part, as it was always my hope to experience “real” labor to some degree since I had not had the chance in the first two pregnancies. (This statement is documented in Adeline's birth story!) At some point during or after the c-section, Dr. Z told me that all that “labor” had only dilated my cervix to 1cm when he delivered. Ha!

They got me prepped for the c-section and wheeled down to the OR. Then it was time to get my spinal…and thus the worst 20 minutes of the whole ordeal. I’d gladly labor and deliver med-free over experiencing that spinal again! Ok, maybe not.

The anesthesiologist said my back was swollen (along with the rest of my body) and she had a hard time finding the right spot. The first two attempts ended in excruciating, shooting pain down my entire right side. I was literally screaming, uncontrollably, in pain. NEVER want to experience that again and will likely have a panic attack if someone tells me I need a spinal again. (Thankfully, Jacob was not in the room yet. I was so worried he’d hear me and worry.) FINALLY, she got it on the third try.

The difference in this spinal compared to the first two is that I literally felt every touch. I could not feel pain or temperature, so they said it was still “working.” But I felt every movement and it made me very anxious! The last two c-sections, I could feel NOTHING except pressure in my lungs when they pulled the baby out. Because of this, I did not let Jacob leave to go with Anna when they pulled her out. I was such a baby! But I said, “She’ll be fine, I want you HERE.” So he stayed while they sewed me up. (The nurse anesthetist did eventually give me something for the anxiety in my IV…)

Anna was born at 1:27am on June 1st; three hours after my water broke. She was 5lbs, 14oz and 19 inches long. When Dr. Z pulled her out he lifted her over the curtain and made her “wave” at me. When he did, her bloody goop dripped down on my face! This gave us a good laugh. She was cute and tiny, but didn’t cry right away. She did cry just before they took her out of the room.

Once Jacob left me, he went and took some pictures of Anna. They found out she had low blood sugar, so she had to go to the nursery to get some formula. Because her blood sugar was so low, she had to stay there until she had two results in the normal range. She was there until 5am when they brought her to my room.

Being 36w5d (since she was born on Wednesday morning) she was considered a “late preterm baby.” The only other problem aside from the low blood sugar was regulating her temp. She had to leave us once to go under the warmer when they found her temps too low. After that, we were sure to keep her good and bundled up. She was a little “pokey” in her eating for the first 48 hours or so, but they said that was normal for 36 weekers.

We spent our time relaxing in the hospital, learning to feed her and visiting with family. Our last day in the hospital was Saturday. This was actually the same day as Will’s 5^th birthday party. Jacob left me and Anna to go be at his party. While he was gone, we found out that despite my slightly elevated blood pressure and incision not healing well, we were going home! Jacob got back to the hospital around 2pm and learned how to do “wound care” for my incision (it had opened up - I'll spare the details of this...). We were home by that afternoon and very glad to be there!

However, it didn’t last long. We knew my blood pressure had stayed a little high, so I restarted taking the procardia. In addition, the swelling in my feet, hands and face had not resolved yet. By Saturday night, I had a HUGE headache that lasted the entire first night we were at home. It continued all day Sunday. By Sunday afternoon, my blood pressure was 180/120 at home. So we called Dr. A who advised us to come back to Rex, via the ER – and with no Anna.

We headed back (kids with Gigi) and I was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia. My blood pressure spiked to 198/115 while in the ER. I felt awful, but I remember I was sitting up for that reading and I couldn’t see the monitor. Jacob and Dr. A could and both were just staring at the monitor with blank looks and nervously laughed when I asked, “Is it good?” Ha!

My reflexes were very brisk showing that my central nervous system was going haywire. My liver enzymes were also elevated indicating the same complication (HELLP) that I dealt with during my first pregnancy. All of these things earned me 24 hours on Magnesium Sulfate – a miserable drug used to prevent seizures. Monday, I was still on the mag and they also added another blood pressure medication, Lisinopril. Monday night they stopped the mag, but decided to keep me overnight to watch my bp and be sure we were headed in the right direction.

Tuesday, Jacob went home and brought Anna up to me since we were in a postpartum room at Rex. She resumed nursing like a champ after having bottles (of mostly formula) for two days! I hung around the hospital that day and discharged that afternoon. My blood pressures were still not normal, but mostly lower than the first time I was discharged.

I’m still on Lisinopril and Hydralazine for my pressures and may be on bp meds for good at this point. My wound is also still healing from the inside out (meaning its open) and we have to change the dressing twice a day. They say this is more likely to happen the more c-sections you have. It's made recovery pretty slow with a good bit more pain that previous recoveries. I’m also still going to the OB for weekly appointments to check on my bp and my incision. At my first weekly visit, my bp was 130/90 – much improved! Though not great considering I’m on two bp meds! We’re praying that it will continue to resolve the further I get along in my recovery. 

Throughout this last (truly, our final one!) pregnancy, we’ve seen several answered prayers. First of all, we prayed for a June baby (to hopefully avoid the NICU) and we got her by an hour and a half! We also got a healthy baby and avoided the NICU, despite her being a little early. Second, I really did pray that some day I would get to experience labor to some degree. I got that with this pregnancy!

Although this third delivery and recovery has been my hardest so far, we are so thankful for the way it all happened. The Lord protected me and Anna and she arrived safely!! We have always loved my doctors, LOVED them...but are even more thankful for them now that they've seen us through three difficult pregnancies and deliveries.

Here are the proud big brother and big sister:

Thanks for reading and rejoicing with us in Anna's birth! 

Summer Plans!

Hello readers!

We wanted to let you all know that we are working on some new things for Prayer of Hannah! Those changes are coming for the fall. In the meantime, we're going to try out a new "schedule" (or lack thereof!) for the summer. Basically, we aren't scheduling any topics for the rest of the summer. We each have a day and will post about whatever is on our hearts or minds. (And since my 3 week old is on my heart and mind...up first is our latest birth story!)

As always, if you have any suggestions of something you'd like one of us to address, feel free to email or comment with that suggestion! We will do our best to address it. Remember too that there are labels on the right column directing you to all our past topics.

We hope you're having a great summer!
Thanks for staying with us. :)

Announcing Baby Anna Reese

Congratulations to Christina, who delivered a super beautiful baby girl this week! She was born at 36 weeks and 4 days. She weighed in at 5 lbs, 14 oz and is 19 inches long. Welcome to the world precious one!! And way to go mom!!