Off to Public School

My friend Karen prepared this post. I want to put in the disclaimer that her daughter fell and suffered a pretty harsh concussion last weekend before she had a chance to finish, so it isn't exactly how she wanted it to look. But I thought what she said was really good and wanted to share it with you all. And after a few scary days of no short term memory, it looks like everything is going to be okay.

Sending our two girls to public school was not the original plan for our two daughter’s educations. Both my husband and I had attended public school. Our experiences with public education varied greatly, his being good and mine was, well, awful. It was through our Sunday school class that homeschooling was introduced to us. We absolutely loved the way our Sunday school leader’s children behaved and were taken back as to how much they loved the Lord. Both my husband and I definitely wanted that for our future children. With the former introduction in mind, we opted for the home school route with the understanding that we would only commit to one year at a time.

When our oldest reached 3rd grade, our strong willed child was tired of being different from her friends who went to “real school”. In addition to our oldest discontentment, I was frustrated with the lack of time & money to provide our two right brained children with music & art opportunities. We had discussed the real possibility that home schooling might not work for us and had decided that private Christian school was not the answer due to the outrageous price and driving distance. Knowing ahead of time that we were only committing one year at a time to homeschooling, we had our “insurance policy” in place by previously moving to a school district with which we were both comfortable sending our children.

We loved most of the teachers and the few that were difficult we taught our children how to respect them regardless of “feelings”. We wanted our children to learn to respect authority even if they didn’t completely agree with their opinions. As for the lack of Christian atmosphere, it did take some toll on the girls as they watched their friends throw their lives away with drinking, drugs, and sex. On the flip side, both of them have had the chance to witness to their friends verbally and with their life stile.

Did public school give our daughters a good education? Yes, the school gave them an amazing education. We never wanted the school to raise our kids.

If you are considering public education for your child/children, I can’t stress enough how important it is to choose a school district wisely. Make the effort to talk to other parents who have older children or children who have graduated from different school districts. Weigh the pros and cons very carefully before making a decision.

Public Charter Schools

I’m Cheryl…and I am admittedly approaching the opportunity to “blog” with much fear and trepidation! Mostly because I am slightly afraid I may like it toooooo much and go on and on and on and on….and well – you get the idea! =) But, Leah asked me…and although I am trying to learn to say “no” more often…I really feel led to share a little about our experience with many different schools and why we ended up choosing a charter school (or maybe how the Lord directed things so that “it” chose us!!). But school choice is certainly something I am passionate about…so here goes! =)

I grew up in public schools (in CA), as did my husband (Steve - in NY), and continued through college, spending 2 years in a “Christian” college before I transferred and graduated from a state university. Steve also graduated from a state college associated with a private university. Education was a priority in both of our homes and we knew it would continue to be a priority in our own home as we started our family. Early in our marriage, we were close friends with a couple who were both raised entirely through Christian schools and a Christian college and witnessed some of their struggles in trying to fit into the “real world” later on. This, along with financial considerations, admittedly somewhat biased us early on against a “Christian school” upbringing for our own (eventual) children!

All that to say that when we did have our own children and looked at the options, we were committed to being intentional about our choices. Kevin is 15 and a freshman this year at Franklin Academy, a charter school in Wake Forest, NC. Rachel is 13 and in 8th grade at the same school. We have moved quite a bit due to Steve’s job with the federal government, so we actually have a pretty broad spectrum of experience that we’ve drawn from in arriving happily and gratefully at Franklin Academy!

Before Kevin ever began school, I had been praying about homeschooling for quite awhile. We had many friends who homeschooled and it was actually my first choice. Steve wasn’t a huge fan of the alternative…so I did quite a bit of research to present it to HIM as the best option! At the time, we were living outside Phoenix, AZ where charter schools were already fairly common. We lived in a new area that was just beginning to be developed and were within a few blocks of both a public school and a charter school. After MUCH prayer, and my inability to convince Steve that homeschooling was a better plan, we enrolled Kevin in the charter school. The Lord was faithful to give us both peace about the choice and I prepared to start a Moms in Touch prayer group for our school.

We were delighted with the environment the charter school provided: a large amount of overall parental support & involvement (typically more in charter schools – in my experience – than in regular public schools), the focus on academics (full-day K instead of the state’s normal half-day, for example), and opportunities to interact with a variety of different children & adults. We were only halfway into the school year, though, when we found out that we would be moving to WA. The school our children would be attending heavily influenced our choice of where we would live. Kevin completed Kindergarten in a “regular” public school on a half-day schedule and Rachel began the following year at the same school. I began a Moms in Touch prayer group for our school and began substitute teaching. I also continued to pray for direction from the Lord that would enable me to switch to homeschooling!

When we found out that we would be moving AGAIN in December of Kevin’s 2nd grade/Rachel’s 1st grade year, I was fairly confident that finally the Lord would lead us to homeschool. Steve had a MUCH more positive view of homeschooling than he had before because we were surrounded in both AZ and WA with wonderful homeschooling families. As before, we chose our home in NC more based on the elementary school in the area than any other single factor, even while we prayed about the Lord allowing us to school our kids ourselves. However, the Lord made it clear that He wanted our kids in the state school system each year as we re-evaluated and prayed about the upcoming school year. I continued to volunteer in the classroom, frequently work as a substitute teacher and began another Moms in Touch prayer group!

At this point, we felt the Lord was leading us to stay in the area, rather than continue to move every few years for Steve’s job…and I began to look ahead to middle school and high school. While I was delighted with the elementary school the kids were attending, the middle school and high school they would have attended were VERY ALARMING! I believe that there is great value in having Christian families involved within the public school system. It was my privilege to pray for kids in those schools as I subbed & volunteered who may not have had a single other person praying for them! We also had the opportunity be “salt & light” that we would not have had if we hadn’t been IN the school. BUT…I wasn’t sure I was ready or willing to “sacrifice” my kids to the darkness I was witnessing in the middle school & high school. As kids grow, mature and develop…by God’s design, our influence as parents necessarily diminishes over time and outside influence increases. I was determined, though, to have some control over what those influences would be and to be aware of the values, attitudes, lifestyles, and character of the influential people in my children’s lives. I had heard excellent things about a charter school 30 minutes away, but had also heard how impossibly difficult it was to make it in through the lottery system. We discussed Christian & secular private schools but we determined they were not an option due to distance and finances. We prayed about and considered the leap of faith it would take to let go of our kids and keep them in the regular public schools. I was more and more certain that homeschooling was where the Lord would lead us sooner rather than later! Then…the opportunity to move both of the kids to Franklin Academy (the charter school I had heard so much about) came along in an unexpected TOTALLY God-way!

Even with all the research I’d done, I would have to admit that the “choice” to have our children attend a charter school was actually made almost by default. But we had faithfully prayed about school choices each year and throughout the school years…and had intentionally evaluated the options we felt were available to us. I absolutely believe the Lord blessed those efforts by leading us to Franklin Academy, even when we hadn’t seriously sought that alternative…He is sooooo faithful, even when we “miss” an option that is in His plan!

I realize I’ve spent most of this blog talking about what LED us to the charter school option…that’s because many of those experiences have enabled us to appreciate the benefits we’ve experienced since starting here. Some of these benefits may be specific to the mission and philosophy of our particular charter school…and certainly they also reflect the dynamics of how our children’s personalities and learning styles mesh with the specific school. But…I also think many of the benefits would be similar for other families exploring the various schooling alternatives.

Our school is an academically focused year-round school that offers a great deal of structure for students. We have appreciated the smaller class size (25 max), school uniforms, and the high standards that are enforced academically and behaviorally. They level all math and language arts classes through the 8th grade, so every student is in an environment where they conceivably have the opportunity to excel in the basic subjects. The brighter students are challenged, average students can shine, and the students who struggle academically aren’t left behind. In terms of discipline, because attendance is by choice, students who don’t respond well to the structured environment typically switch to other alternatives. In the middle school our kids would have attended, the disciplinary issues frequently involve weapons, drugs, and other frightening ‘real world’ scenarios. However, at our school, the issues are more likely to be dress code infractions, ‘moderately’ disrespectful behavior, and classroom disruption.

One of the benefits we hadn’t anticipated is related to the lack of school-provided transportation. Our school draws students from at least 3 different neighboring counties. Each family is responsible for getting their children to/from school. This requires that parents have a certain amount of commitment invested in their children’s attendance. I believe this requirement alone draws and retains families that are WILLING to be involved in their child’s education. The overall level of parental involvement is much greater than what I experienced in ‘normal’ public schools. Additionally, having more adults involved seems to reinforce the accountability students have for their behavior and their academics. We have experienced a family-friendly atmosphere – in part due to the interaction between parents – but also from the relatively small size of our school (there are typically 4 classes of 25 students per grade). Our experience here has been surprisingly free of the ‘cliques’ that are so common throughout a child’s typical education. Additionally, our kids’ have had MUCH less exposure to drugs/alcohol/swearing and other behaviors that are inconsistent with our values because of the structured environment where parental involvement is not only encouraged but required!

Because this school alternative IS so attractive to parents who desire involvement, the overall tone has been extremely positive and accepting. My perception is that there are a much larger percentage of students and teachers who are believers than in the typical public school. Because charter schools are publicly funded, there are still some restrictions on curriculum, but they do seem to be allowed more freedom than we had seen in the ‘regular’ public schools. For example, sex education (they call it something else, officially) is taught at our charter school but parents are allowed to choose whether or not their child will participate. The curriculum is abstinence based and even when it’s been taught by non-Christian teachers, it has reflected more conservative values than what I understand is being taught in most public schools or being broadcast on network tv!

Although our school is academically oriented, there are still a variety of athletic opportunities available each season. The school also acknowledges the value of the arts and has an excellent band program, and a growing theater department. The small size of the school actually allows students to participate in a larger variety of extracurricular activities and has produced students that are quite well rounded! This seems to contrast with many large public schools where students seem to almost be forced to ‘specialize’ in a particular area: sports OR music OR drama. We have also appreciated that our children have been taught to make music as part of both concert and jazz bands basically FREE of charge! Both have enjoyed being part of the cross country teams – opportunities I’m not sure they would have taken advantage of in a larger school…or that would have been easily available had we homeschooled.

As a substitute teacher, I have been able to regularly speak the name of Jesus in the classroom! I have watched teachers encourage open discussions between students regarding spiritual/moral issues. We have found the charter school environment to be full of opportunities to be “salt and light” in the world while still providing a buffer from many of the harsher realities our children would undoubtedly face in a ‘regular’ public school. In many ways, it has seemed like we are able to experience the best of both worlds: a tuition-free, ‘private education’! I appreciate that Kevin & Rachel are being exposed to some aspects of the ‘real world’ and learning to filter it through Scripture on a daily basis…yet the exposure is more limited than it would be in public schools because of the structured, academically-focused environment. Throughout their school years, I’ve been privileged to pray alongside other moms for our kids and their school through Moms in Touch. It’s exciting to see how the Lord answers our prayers…and grows our families spiritually over time.

While I firmly believe that our children are exactly where God wants THEM, in terms of schooling, I have certainly wished at times that they could experience Scripture-based teaching – whether in a Christian school, or with me as their teacher in our home. It is a challenge to teach children how to walk with the Lord in every aspect of their lives when they are in the world for a large chunk of every day. We have intentionally established traditions and patterns in our family that emphasize spiritual learning and growth. Both Kevin and Rachel have participated in AWANA since pre-school-age, and they have, literally, hundreds of Bible verses hidden in their hearts. We have routinely used drive time for devotions and Scripture memorization. We use our drive time now (30 minutes each way) to talk about not only the usual daily events in teenagers’ lives…but also to talk about how to apply Scripture to real life and how to continually develop their biblical world-view in contrast to our culture. We truly attempt to seize every available opportunity to infuse truth into our kids’ lives.

Kevin & Rachel have now attended FA charter school for 6 years! As time has gone by, I have become more and more certain that this was definitely HIS plan for them. What we began by considering the “lesser of two evils” in terms of public school has proven to be THE BEST alternative, by FAR, for our family…with benefits I never even foresaw. I can see God not only preparing them for a future He has planned for each of them…but also see Him using them TODAY right where He has placed them. I am still open to homeschooling and seek the Lord’s leading each new school year…I even sometimes envy all my friends who DO homeschool! I absolutely believe that the sovereign God of the universe - Who fearfully and wonderfully made EACH of us as a unique individual (Psalm 139:14) - has a hand-chosen path for each of our children’s lives. We are each gifted uniquely, called individually, and trained specifically for the works He prepared beforehand for us. (Ephesians 2:10) I wholeheartedly believe that there is no ONE choice that is "right" for every Christian family. One of the most difficult aspects of parenting is determining the right choices & courses of action for each of our children, individually. We HAVE to stay in constant communication with Him…filled with the Holy Spirit…immersed in His Word if we are to KNOW His plan.

FYI

Hi all. Just an FYI to let you all know that we've had a little bit of a miscommunication about this week. Sorry for that! YES - the topic of this week is "Schooling Options". We had planned to have a different mom cover homeschooling, private schooling, charter schooling, public schooling, and a hybrid approach. Somehow we've ended up with three homeschooling posts in a row! Sorry! We aren't trying to send some subliminal message that homeschooling is the only schooling option! :) Tomorrow we will hear from a mom who has sent her two children to a charter school. Friday will feature a mom who sent her two daughters through the public school system. Again, sorry for the confusion and please keep coming back to read more.

From Homeschool to Public School

The following post was written by Leah's friend, Brenda. Read on to find out more about her experience homeschooling!

Deuteromony 6:5-7 says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

These commands were given to the Israelites. But as a follower of Christ, I believe that it is my responsibility as a mother to train and teach my children as much as I can about God and His Word. As my oldest child, Sydney, was reaching school-age I realized how quickly my time with her at home had gone by. I wondered if she was really grounded enough to go into a public school setting. We didn’t think we could afford Christian education and although I’d never given much thought to home-schooling her, a friend helped me see the benefits and possibilities of teaching her at home. She helped me find a curriculum (there are sooo many different ones!) and was a huge encourager to at least give it a try.

When and if you decide to home-school your children you’ll get many different reactions from others. I remember feeling uncertain about it at first. I didn’t make a long-term commitment at first because I wanted to see how it would work out. That was ten years ago. I have four children and have taught all of them with the exception of my daughter’s second grade year. Our plan has been to teach at home up to the sixth grade and then put them in public school. We wanted them to have opportunities that only a school setting can offer. My oldest , Sydney, is finishing her freshman year, my son, Isaac, his seventh grade year and my two youngest boys, Ethan and Micah, their fourth and second grade years. We have actually talked recently about home-schooling all of them again but I really need to think and pray more about it this summer. My daughter’s transition to public school was much smoother than my son’s. Her personality made it easier for her to make new friends and not worry as much about what others think. They have both done well academically however.

Home-schooling has so many positive aspects but there are struggles along the way as well. I will try to give you glimpses of some of these. If you’re at all considering it, I would encourage you to try it because I think the benefits definitely outweigh the negative aspects. At times it has felt overwhelming but if you keep your ultimate goal of training your children in God’s ways and giving them a foundation to stand on, then with God’s grace it is possible.

Plain and simple, one of the benefits of homeschooling is the amount of time you can spend with your children. Unfortunately, I think a lot of moms look forward to the start of school in the fall because it means they’ll have more free time or they just won’t have to worry about disciplining all day long. I am one of those moms who feels bittersweet about their children growing up. I realize how fast time has gone and I’m truly thankful for the many days I’ve had with them. I’ve enjoyed seeing them grasp new concepts and learn new skills. I like hearing their thoughts and ideas when we’re reading together. A lot of those things just don’t happen when they’re away at school. However, I would by lying to say that I never have days that I wish I had more free time or when I just don’t want to deal with bad attitudes. We actually put my daughter in a Christian school for her second grade year because I had just had our fourth child and we were going to be moving soon. I didn’t think I could handle teaching her on top of all that. We learned quickly how little time there was together after driving 20-25 minutes to and from school and doing homework. She actually missed her brothers and felt like she was missing out on things at home. She asked to be homeschooled again that summer.

Another obvious benefit is the ability to teach from a Christian worldview and instill in them your own family values. You don’t have to constantly fight against the humanistic philosophy, evolution, etc. that seems to permeate every subject in public schools. Even in a Christian school you may be fighting against all the different standards that their classmates’ families have. We get to read books that hold truth and that teach moral values. After sending my two oldest to public school I’ve become aware of how hard it is to really know all that they’re learning. It’s hard to have enough time to actually discuss all the things that happen or counteract the lies that they’re being taught.

Many who don’t homeschool think that kids who are home-schooled will not be able to interact socially. This may be true for some but I think for the most part, home-schooled kids know how to interact with different ages of people better. When in a school setting, kids are separated so much by age. I noticed when my kids started attending public school, they became less tolerant of their younger siblings, thinking the things they said or did were “so immature.” They thought themselves superior simply because they were older. I do have to say, our kids were exposed to a lot of other children at our church on a regular basis. And, with four children, they automatically had to learn to share and get along. I think if I only had one child, I would try to get them involved more with other home-schooled kids. By the way, there are many opportunities out there for home-schooled kids. We’ve done soccer for home-schoolers and we were part of a field trip group at one time.

One other big positive for our family has been the flexibility of our schedule. My husband is a youth pastor which sometimes requires him to be gone in the afternoons and evenings when our children would normally see him if they were away at school during the day. For our family, teaching at home has provided much more family time than we would otherwise have had. It’s also really nice to be able to go on trips while most people are in school. It’s less crowded than during the normal vacation times. Now that our two oldest are in school, we are held to that schedule. The challenge of this flexible schedule is that sometimes when dad is at home during the day my boys would much rather “play” than learn. This can be frustrating but I’m thankful that our kids have been able to spend so much time with their dad.

Other pros of home-schooling include knowing the areas your child struggles in- knowing if they’re really learning a concept. You can adapt to their learning style if they do struggle in an area like math or reading. Also, they can work at their own pace and be done with their school day when they’re done instead of waiting on a whole classroom. There’s no homework at night! We’ve all had to grow in our self-discipline. That’s a good thing but it can really be a struggle at times. My kids are sometimes more reluctant to do their work when I tell them than they would be for another teacher. Sometimes I never think I’m doing enough. However, I was so happy that when my kids did go to school, they did well academically. There’s so much good curriculum to choose from as well. I would suggest to talk to others and visit homeschool sales where you can look it over. We’ve chosen a non-textbook style of learning which includes reading lots of chapter books which teach history, science, etc.

I’m truly thankful for all these years of teaching my children at home. I don’t think I’ll ever regret it. Sometimes I may have doubts about it but I’m finding I also have doubts about them going to public school. I don’t think I’d be completely happy with a Christian school either. I’ve realized over the years of watching kids go through our youth group at church that where your child attends school is not always a guarantee of how your child will “turn out.” In fact, there are no guarantees. I’ve also realized that academics are not the most important aspect of our children’s education. Their character is much more important. I just want to be faithful in training them as best I can. My example to them speaks louder than my words. When I am at home with them every day they see my actions and attitudes all the time. This is perhaps the greatest challenge of home-schooling but I still believe it is well worth it!

Homeschooled and Homeschooling

This post is written by Jillian Meyers, a friend of mine from college. She was so sweet to share her homeschool experience with us. She was homeschooled herself and now homeschools her children. Thanks for sharing, Jillian!

I loved the phrasing of this week’s topic “schooling options” because I think that far too often we neglect to consider just how many options there are out there for our children’s education. I’m certainly not well-versed on the many options that exist but one I happen to be very familiar with is the option of home education. I came from a family of four children all of which were homeschooled all 12 years until college. It would be a fair and accurate statement to say that I do not know how to compare my educational experience to other institutional counterparts. I can merely relate what my experience was like for me, how it prepared me for college and life in general.

When it came time to consider schooling options for our oldest son my husband and I agreed that it made sense for us to home school him for pre-K and then kindergarten. It was important to me that my children’s education would not make God’s Word merely a supplement but rather its foundation. Furthermore, homeschooling just made sense for us. After all, I taught my son how to walk, how to obey, how to clean-up, and it just seemed natural that since I knew his learning style and his interests—that I’d be the one to teach him his letters, handwriting, how to tie his shoes, counting and math. After one successful full year of pre-K at home I’ve seen great results. Our family has established a more efficient routine with a little more structure that we would have perhaps otherwise. My daughter has been more eager for learning as a result of seeing my oldest doing “school.” By the second half of the year she was participating in schoolwork as well—learning 68 phonograms, all the books of the Bible, the same memory verses as her brother, counting by 5’s and 10’s etc. etc.. The benefits for our family have been great. I have loved the flexibility that homeschooling has offered. We do “school” Saturday, and then M-Wednesday. I teach the older two (5 and 3) together in the morning and then I work with my oldest on reading and spelling in the afternoon since it requires more concentrated time and the others are napping then. This schedule allows us freedom on days that daddy is home. We also continue to do “school” all year round so that I can have freedom during the school year to take days off here and there to travel to visit family, to take in the zoo or other fun daytrips. Did I mention that I’m loving and appreciating my “second education” perhaps more than my first? I’ve always loved to learn but learning new things with my children is like learning it for the first time. I’ve experienced nothing like it!

The routine that I refer to as “school” is really so much more of what I would consider a lifestyle of learning for us. Yes, we dedicate about 1 ½ hours a day of structured learning time for my oldest and then about half of that time for my daughter at this stage—but I truly believe that just as much is learned from what takes place during the rest of the day as is learned during that short period. We learn just as much on our nature walks with binoculars and our field guides as we do reading a book. Just as much is learned by helping mom with jobs around the house as can be read in a single devotion on responsibility. I’ve come to believe that we can accomplish what many children accomplish in a full-day of school in a much shorter amount of time because of the individualized attention. I believe that my kids have grown to appreciate that they can take afternoon naps/ quiet time, and still have hours to play before and after their neighborhood friends get home.

Of course, the debate way back when and still sometimes today is the issue of children’s socialization. I’m a big fan of homeschooling for the opportunity it affords children to broaden their social horizons beyond that of their peers. Siblings have more opportunities to bond and families are more free to serve, visit nursing homes, deliver Meals on Wheels, visit grandparents, go on family trips to the grocery store where people of all ages are encountered. Granted, at times it has taken more effort to build friendships amongst our children with others; yet, I haven’t regretted being able to be more discerning in that area. We have a neighborhood full of children that love to come and play and that has become our family’s “mission field.” Now with the numerous opportunities for outside educational enrichment through home school academies, support groups, home school sports leagues etc, the argument regarding homeschoolers lacking exposure and socialization has become unfounded.

Does homeschooling shelter my children too much? I believe that it shelters them to the extent that is wholesome for their lives at the age they are at. Can it potentially shelter children too much? I believe it can. However, homeschooling by its very nature is tailor-made for you and your family and what it looks like for one family is not going to even look nearly like what it would look like for another. My children are young right now and it is convenient to teach all of their subjects from home. But the trend is now, and is becoming more and more, a less “home-based” approach for older homeschooled students relying more on supplemental classes through academies, long distance learning and community colleges.

While I consider our experience with homeschooling to be wholly positive there have been some down-sides. While we have saved money compared to the costs of private Christian School we have put forth much more of a financial investment than we would have if we were using the public school system. It’s certainly an investment. There are certainly ways to make it less expensive (buying used curricula, reusing curricula from child to child, curtail supplemental outside of the home classes), nonetheless, I haven’ found a way to beat the financially economical side of public school. Furthermore, the fact that we have all three (soon to be 4) children at home all day never affords a clean house and often times affords a little less than sane mommy when daddy gets home. All of that to say that it can potentially be draining on a marriage and a family life unless expectations are realistic and shared and understood by all within the family.

What does homeschooling look like for us right now and what curriculum has been useful?

Devotions: “Leading Little Ones to God,” “Little Visits with God;” “Child’s Book of Character Building,” “The ABC’s of Handling Money God’s Way,” Keys for Kids, “Family Night’s Tool Chest” (by Heritage Builders)

Music: “Hymns for a Kid’s Heart” (published by Focus on the Family, we’ve also used “Passion for a Kid’s Heart,” “Christmas Carols for a Kid’s Heart”) We have a kid’s hand bell set with music “Praise the Lord With Song,” a recorder book and recorders for both kids, and a glockenspiel. We’ve also used “Wee Sing Bible Songs” to help out with memorization for example books of Old Testament etc.

Phonics: “Spell to Read and Write” it’s an intensive phonics curriculum which bases its approach on the most basic phonetic sounds, the 78 phonograms that make up the English language. It emphasizes spelling and writing long before reading. It teaches each sound that each letter makes initially. Rather than just learning that C says “k” you simultaneously learn that it says “s” for example. Another big premise of this curriculum that I have appreciated has been that it encourages you to teach your children their lower case alphabet exclusively in the beginning introducing only the first letter of their name in capital format until the lowercase alphabet is mastered. It just makes sense.

Math: We use mostly Saxon Kindergarten math and the manipulatives that come with it. We’ve done lots with play money as it pertains to counting and adding.

Art: I have yet to settle on one particular thing. We like various resources for this. But we’ve mostly been learning to draw from nature using basic shapes to create certain animals. One curricula we used taught how to create objects and animals from basic numbers.

Reading: My oldest has just begun to use Easy Readers and I’ve found that Christian Book Distributors has a great selection of Bible story ones. We make much use of our local library too.

Science: My 5 year old (oldest) just completed a year long age-appropriate science class at a local Christian home school academy. This class proved helpful particularly for some of the lab/ hands-on projects and experiments that would have been time consuming for me to have prepared myself. The only reason we introduced science to him at his age was that his Daddy is a meteorologist and Andrew has had a great interest in the subject.

Considering homeschooling? Where to start? First and foremost, pray and talk to your spouse about what your goals are for your children. Consider one year at a time. What is best for the here and now may not always be what is best for your family. Consider your family dynamics and what suits your lifestyle the most. Read. There are many methods and philosophies for home education. Don’t be bogged down; yet, consider creating a mission statement for your home school (if that is the path that you choose). Select an approach that seeks to achieve that. There is the “Unschooling approach,” “the Charlotte Mason method,” the “Classical Approach,” “the Unit Study approach…” Regardless of what suits your family, there are resources to guide you along the way. Seek out a home school support group. If you live in North Carolina one great place to state is the North Carolinians for Home Education website www.nche.com . Attend a home school conference. Inquire within a home school support group/ network about academies, and other supplemental classes and extracurricular activities that are offered in your area. When it comes to deciding on the particulars of what your home school will look like, remember that the beauty of homeschooling is greatly in part because of the opportunity for creativity. Fortunately, the options for curricula are vast, ranging from correspondence courses/ dvd based, all-inclusive (like ABeka, Bob Jones (just to name a few) both very popular choices), to “piece-meal” approaches which most closely resembles ours. Choose what is best and revise your approach when something isn’t working. Seek out other likeminded friends and perhaps consider “co-oping” or sharing the homeschooling workload by cooperatively teaching your kids on certain subjects.

May the Lord bless you and your families as you seek out from amongst the many options that exist just what would be the best.

Schooling Options...Homeschooling

Hi, my name is Dawn and I was asked by my friend Stacey to write about why I chose to homeschool. First of all, let me tell you about my children. My oldest daughter, Leah, is 7 and in the 2nd grade. My second daughter, Hannah, is 5 and in kindergarten. My oldest son, Judah, is 3. And my youngest son, Micah, is 12 months old.


Homeschooling has been on my heart since before my oldest daughter was born. So when she turned five I was really excited to give it a shot. There are a lot of little reasons my husband and I chose to homeschool, but there are two main reasons that helped us make the decision to do it.

The first is simply that I felt I could give my children a better education. Just the fact that I only have four students compared with 20 or 30 in a standard classroom allows for so much more individual teaching time. I can remember times when I was in school when I was bored because the material was too easy as well as times when I was lost because it was too hard. With only four students (one of which sleeps through most of our school day) I can work at the exact right pace with each of them.

I also liked the fact that I could choose the curriculum for my children. I chose to give my children a classical education. In Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise’s book, The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home, (which I highly recommend) they define a classical education as being, “language-intensive…history-intensive, providing students with a comprehensive view of human endeavor from the beginning until now. It trains the mind to analyze and draw conclusions. It demands self-discipline. It produces literate, curious, intelligent students who have a wide range of interests and the ability to follow up on them (xx).” That was what I wanted for my children. We cover history from creation to the present time over a period of four years, grades 1 through 4, and then repeat it in grades 5 through 8 and again in grades 9 through 12. At the same time we read works written by and about the people that were alive at that time. This year we have been studying Augustine, Martin Luther, and John Calvin to name a few. I didn’t know who these people were until an embarrassingly few years ago! I am so excited that my children are being exposed to them at such a young age in a manner in which they can understand. Each time we start over at creation the difficulty and work required increases to match their age and ability.

The other main reason we chose to homeschool is because my husband and I wanted to be the primary influencers in our children’s lives. The amount of hours a child spends in a traditional school setting, not to mention in extracurricular activities and with friends, makes this extremely difficult to impossible. We base this on the emphasis the Scripture places on parents’ responsibility to raise and shape their children.

So how do we do it? Practically speaking, we work on a schedule. I don’t know how anyone could homeschool well without a schedule, especially if you have more than one child. I make a schedule out for the day with half hour increments. Another book I would highly recommend is Managers of Their Homes, by Steven and Teri Maxwell. You can look at all of their books at www.Titus2.com. This is where I learned how to schedule our day. I take turns spending one on one time with each of the children. At the same time everyone else has a specific task; it is not a free for all for my three year old, who is technically not in school yet. For example, when I’m doing math with Leah (7), Hannah (5), and Judah (3), color at our dining room table and Micah (12 months) has play pen time. Everyone has a task for every half hour of our school day. This does take quite a bit of time to figure out what to do with a 3-year-old and a 12-month-old for every half hour of our school day, (which is only about 4 hours long) but it is worth it in the long run.

Now, while this may sound nice and neat as if everything goes according to plan, let me assure you it isn’t always the case. There are days when I wonder why in the world anyone would want to homeschool. My children are well behaved children, but they are very normal and there are days when they drive my crazy! I am thankful that on the days when I feel like giving up my husband has been very encouraging and helpful to me. We made the decision together to homeschool and while I do the majority of the teaching, when I am having “one of those days” my husband will take over for me and give me a break. Remember, with homeschooling you make your own schedule so if one Wed. you feel you can’t take another minute of it, put it away and ask your husband for help when he gets home.

There really are very few challenges. We truly enjoy homeschooling and plan to do it until our children graduate. At the same time, I don’t know what the future holds and there may come a time that we feel putting our children in a traditional school setting to be the best option. I do know that at this time it is the best decision for our family.

On Being Domestic

As I was reviewing Titus 2:5 using BlueLetterBible.org - I discovered that several different words were used for the part that says (in the NIV), "to be busy at home." Other translations say:

"keepers at home" (KJV)
"working at home" (ESV)
"workers at home" (NASB)
"domestic" (RSV)

This post is not meant to spark a debate about whether or not a wife should work out of the home. Until recent years, I myself was quite naive to the fact that there are those that believe women are only to be at home, even before children enter the family. This scripture (Titus 2:5) would be one of the scriptures used to support the thought that a woman should not work outside the home. To be honest, I don't know what I think exactly but I do know what our experience has been.

I did work (as a teacher) from the time we were married until just about a year ago. Before we had kids, we didn't even question whether or not I should work - although maybe we should have. Even without kids in the picture, my job had a tendency to rule my time and left me with little energy for taking care of my house and my husband.

Before I continue, let me make it clear that I did LOVE my job and there are many days that I miss it a lot! I also believe that I was right where the Lord wanted me at that time. Even once my son was born, I continued working for almost two more years. I feel very certain that I left teaching at exactly the right time. The Lord has confirmed it over and over again for me.

Now that I've been at home full time for almost a year, I have so much more time and energy to put into managing our home. It has been a wonderful time for us and I am so thankful the Lord led us to making that decision.

Because I could never be this eloquent, here is what Nicole over at the Girl Talk blog had to say about the topic of working outside of the home and honoring your husband. Good stuff and I completely agree with what she wrote! I hope her post will be an encouragement to those that are working outside of the home now, whether or not you have children!

On a different note, the Girl Talk ladies also gave me additional inspiration for my post on being "domestic." (I'll just defer to the girl talkers from now on...I love that blog and the wisdom that comes from it!)

My biggest struggle now that I stay home is procrastination! I can honestly say that its gotten better over the past year, but somehow I still slip into the same thought pattern as Leah outlined in her post. I also tend to convince myself that I deserve a break and a little down time and the next thing I know - I've neglected the laundry, the dishes and my kids!

To help me have a realistic perspective on what needs to get accomplished during the week, I keep a weekly to-do list in a spiral notebook. Not a daily one, but a weekly. Because I know there will still be days when I sit down and get carried away reading a book or sewing - I can at least accomplish something by the end of the week! My to do list almost always has one or two items that carry over to the next week, but I try to tackle those first when that does happen. The weekly to do list really only includes those tasks that are not ordinarily "to-do's." For example, I try to do a load of laundry per day, but I don't write that on the list. The good news is that when I stay ahead - I can have an afternoon of sewing or blogging (did both today!) and easily make up for it the next day.

And that is all I have to offer on being domestic. Not much, huh? That is because being domestic is really a skill to be learned and one that I have much learning to do! Please share your thoughts on what being "domestic" looks like.

Wordless Wednesday

Why do I have to be taught to be a hard worker at home?

I read quite a few blogs through my Google Reader, and Clair at Mummy Deals had a great post this past week about working at home. As soon as I sat down to write my post for today, I thought back to her post and realized that there are probably a lot of us who have similar feelings from time to time. We are so happy to be working at home, so in love with our children, but there are some days where we want to say "are you kidding me?! they don't pay me enough for this job!"

There are many days when I feel overwhelmed by the tasks at hand and underappreciated by my family and instead of just tackling life in the moment, I give up and don't do anything. I let the dishes sit in the sink, I let the laundry sit in the middle of the floor, I fix myself a bowl of cereal and I sit down on the couch to feel sorry for myself. Have you been there?

Then I think back to when I worked as a teacher. I did a good job. I showed up to work on time, dressed for the part, and worked really hard on my lesson plans and classroom instruction. I cared what my boss thought of me and I tried really hard to impress her. I tried to think of fun, creative things to do in the classroom that took us beyond the basics. What is so different now that I am at home? Why is it so tough to be a hard worker at home?

I find what I miss most about having a job outside the home is the sense of accomplishment and the appreciation for a job well done - in tangibles. I think that both of these happen at home through my kids and husband, but not like when I was working and my boss told me I was doing a good job or I saw a bonus in my paycheck. I miss showing up at work, dressed to work, and going home at the end of the day after putting in my hard work. At home, I know I'm on the clock 24-7 and I do it in my pajamas most days! I lose my sense of purpose and calling amidst the day-in/day-out stuff.

BUT, I know the contributions I'm making to this world through this job FAR outweigh what I did before children. And I know that if I just take a step back, I can see that I NEED to be on the ball for my family. The dishes need done, the laundry needs folded, my family needs my love and attention because God has made me the nurturer, the organizer, the builder-upper. I need to be a hard worker at home because I need to do all things as unto the Lord.

I think what I'm learning most right now is that when I try to do this on my own without depending on God, I get burned out. I get frustrated. I get resentful of my husband. I get tired of my kids. But on the days that I remind myself that I can't do this on my own, that I'm not as strong or capable as I might think I am, but instead ask the Lord to help me and humbly admit to Him that I need Him, THEN I can do my best to work hard at home. I can be reminded throughout the day that it pleases my husband, encourages my children, and honors the Lord.

My kids this week....

Actually last weekend! I've not taken very many pictures this week as its been a wild one! Stomach bug for me on Monday. Stomach bug for the little girl I keep (Ava) on Thursday. We had fun the weekend before with Jacob's brothers from Colorado and South Carolina in town. The cousins enjoyed some afternoon sprinkler fun.

Will and his four year old cousin, Sarala. They had a great time playing together. I love seeing how Will is growing up with his cousins on both sides of the family. He knows them well and sees them often! They have a blast together.

Adeline preferred snack in Daddy's lap to playing in the water. She had just woken up from a nap. Speaking of naps - I love Adeline's napping habits lately, but not so much Will's! They are sporadic, which comes with the territory I suppose. I like predictability and Adeline's are almost always at least two hours. Some days, Will doesn't sleep or sleeps for less than an hour. Other days (yesterday) he sleeps for FOUR hours. From what I hear, this will continue throughout year four.

On Friday, we took the kids to Jumpin' Beans. They loved it! (I did too, even if it was where I probably got my stomach bug!) Here Sam is trying to teach Adeline how to climb. She was not as skilled as he was.

She loved crawling around though! It was great, as we were almost the only ones there. Normally, these things scare me (an irrational fear I inherited from my mother) but it was great when they were empty!

Sadly, Saturday night didn't end on a happy note for Will. I was actually out of town from Friday evening on. I was planning to return home on Mother's Day, just in time for lunch. After Will (and his cousin Sarala) fell off a porch swing - he ended up at Wake Med Children's ER for some staples. Thankfully, his Aunt Lauren is a pediatrician and she was there! In my absence she went with Jacob and Will and was able to prepare him better than we would have been. He only cried when they were leaving the hospital when he wasn't allowed to keep playing!

This is our third experience at the Wake Med Children's ER and I think they're GREAT! If you are in our area, consider it if you ever need ER services. We took Adeline when she 8 weeks old for a high fever (that was a UTI) and Will one other time when he choked on some carrots. Our visits are always as quick and painless as possible. Its nice knowing the staff is very skilled at working with kids! That makes a huge difference!

Hope you all are having a great week. Let us hear how your kids are doing! There is always something to share!

Laney this week - 29 months

What have we been up to this week? I'll highlight some action shots of Laney.

Last night we had a small group cookout at a nearby park. Ashley, one of our friends in the group, was practicing taking pictures of everyone in prep for her photography business, and she snapped a few of us. And I'm glad she did because, between running after Laney, pushing Laney on the swing, and trying to get her to stay in her seat, and both of us eat a little something for dinner, there was no time for taking pictures. You just wait until you see the pics. You'll see how hard she played. And Hugh was one of our MASTER GRILLERS, grilling the meat for everyone. It was a "Bring Your Own Meat and side dish" cookout.


Here's what Laney did most of the time. Her and Anna Kate climbed and rolled down hills. You should have heard the belly laughing and giggling from these two. Laney thought it was so so funny.

and more rolling...

and more rolling....


Nice action shots!

This is one of my favorites. Great pic with amazing color. No photoshop needed in this picture.


Laney looks like a little bunny here. Ha!

Below is a picture of me talking to some Mamas all the while "waiting" on Laney. If you notice, Laney has a painful expression on her face...... Why?

Although she's potty trained and has been since the end of March, she still struggles with going #2. She'll hold it for up to four days. Every time I get her out in an open space to run, run, run, it gets the bowels a-moving (and that's my intention to get those legs a-running). So, she was in some pain last night since yesterday was day four and she was holding it in as long as she could. We did, however, manage to have some success in that area about a half hour later after this picture was taken. I carry this ikea potty everywhere I go, along with my clorox wipes (Thanks Rachael for the superb recommendation!). However, the wipes fell out of our potty bag last night. Fun times for Mama, right? :) I absolutely LOVE this potty for several reasons: it's one piece (no drawers or lids for urine to seep into and start smelling), it's small, it's VERY inexpensive (so I can afford to have several of them around the house and in the vehicles) and lastly, they come in fun colors (although not all colors are shown online. I don't mind getting a "pink" potty for Laney since they are so inexpensive). Laney LOVES that one is pink and one is a light blue to match our bathroom. The downer is that you can't order these online. So, if you want one, get a friend to pick one up for you and mail it. It's very light weight! Here's a pic of us the other week at a strawberry farm where we had another "#2 emergency."

Another fun Laney expression!

Is this not the most hilarious picture ever?! I laughed out loud when I saw it.

And my other little daughter is about 1.5 lbs and growing quickly, giving me a huge baby bump. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and loving it. (although in the picture of me in my lounge clothes, I am almost 24 weeks pregnant.) I carry completely out front so I look farther along than I am. She's due in August! By then I will have one MASSIVE belly. Shhh..her name is a surprise though....(to us too...we still haven't 100% decided what will be her name. It's sooo tough choosing one!)

My Babies This Week

My babies are doing great - all three - and it 's amazing to look at the difference in our day from just a few weeks ago even. The boys have become champion nursers (this after 2 1/2 months of pumping - sometimes 2 hours 40 minutes in a 24 hour period and giving bottles; healing from surgery; taking care of my toddler; and very little sleep - Praise HIM for how HE carried us through!).

These two little smiles make it all worth it and it is quite amazing to get to nurse twins!!! With adjusted age, they are just 2 months old - so they still sleep a lot but are becoming much more alert, playful, watchful, cooing, and smiling. They especiall enjoy watching their big sis!

This was my attempt to take all three kids to the park on Mother's Day and get a picture. Took a couple and then the battery on my camera died. Lydia is really good with her brothers and enjoys being the big sister who can help take care of them.

That's my babies this week - how are YOURS doing?!

Samuel & Joel's Latest

Joel is full of milestones this past month. He turned 1 on March 18 and has since learned how to crawl, walk, sign, and point to facial features. It's amazing what kids can do in just two short months! He has learned to sign "All Done" and "More" at the dinner table. I would like to teach him "Please" and "Thank You" next, as well as "Milk". Do you do sign language with your children? What signs did you start with and what age was your child when they started signing?

Samuel is talking more and more these days - he pretty much chats my ear off from the time he gets up until the time he goes to bed. He has taken to asking "What does _________ mean?" and "What starts with ___ (name a letter)?" This fills a lot of our day. I am wanting to push myself to be creative with my time with the boys. Anyone have great ideas for little games or conversations to have with a two year old throughout the day?

Samuel is also really into reading his "Bible" lately. We have The Beginners' Bible by Zonderkidz. We read at least three stories before naptime and bedtime each day. We are on our fifth or sixth time through the book. It is fun because Samuel is starting to remember a little more about the people and stories. Although I will say that the thing he asks most is "where are the idols?" Why do they have to make those things look so cool?! That's what sticks in his head the most. What do you read with your toddler/preschooler?

Standing out from the crowd: Being Pure

Of all the directives we've seen in Titus 2, I think "be pure" goes the most in the face of today's American culture. If you keep up with friends from your past on Facebook, you've undoubtedly seen pictures they've posted that made you embarassed for them. You can't go anywhere (sometimes church included) without seeing an outfit that is just a little too revealing (or a lot revealing). We are bombarded day in and day out with images and sound bites that get in our heads and can mess with our thoughts.

The pursuit of being pure is a really tough one for me. I feel so often like I fall so short of the mark. I'm drawn to watch shows on TV that I know aren't pure. I'm drawn to listen to songs on the radio that I know aren't pure. I'm drawn to scan the covers of magazines and tabloids in the grocery checkout that I know aren't pure. I start to get comfortable with myself and the choices I make. I start to justify my choices. I sometimes pretend like I'm the kind of person who doesn't watch those shows or listen to those songs. But inside, I know that there are choices I make that do not lead me to the purity God desires in me.

Have you ever met someone that sort of awes you with the sweet, gentle spirit they have? When you encounter purity, you know it. And I have encountered this purity in women of varying ages and seasons in life. Everytime I meet someone like that, it makes me realize just how beautiful it is to be pure. And it makes me think of how pleasing it is to God to offer ourselves to Him as a humble person who desires His love and forgiveness to make us pure.

[Closed] GIVEAWAY: A Pouch Sling!

Hello Prayer of Hannah readers! We have another giveaway ready for you this week. Leah has sewn up a beautiful pouch sling to be given away to the lucky winner. She will size it up to match the winner, so no worries there. Same rules as before:

1. To enter, leave a comment. It doesn't have to say anything specific at all.

2. Anyone can leave a comment - we'd especially love to see all kinds of first-time commenters.

3. Be sure we can get in touch with you to let you know if you win. If you have a blog and its visible in your profile - we can just comment there. Otherwise, leave an email address!

4. To enter AGAIN, make a post on your own blog about our giveaway. Then come back here and leave a second comment telling us you blogged about our giveaway!

5. The giveaway will end at 3pm (eastern time) on Friday, May 8th.

6. We'll pick the winning commenter - randomly.

7. We'll contact the winner for shipping info (shipping is on us) - and remember, we will even ship internationally, so please don't hesistate to participate.

Book Review: The Discipline Book

Nothing will prick the interest to read up on discipline than a temper tantrum from your two year old. And the fact that I am presently 23 weeks pregnant and due this summer, I am all the more eager to try to discern what is our preferred method of discipline and/or how to refine our discipline even more so before the blessed arrival of our second sweet bundle of joy.

I have read two books by Dr. Sears that I have really enjoyed and from which I learned a lot: The Successful Child and The Vaccine Book. Since we want to become experts in different means/methods to discipline our children, I thought I'd try reading another one of his books: The Discipline Book. Unfortunately, I am no where near completing the book, but I can reflect on what I've read thus far.

The thrust of this book makes the correlation between how you tenderly care for your child during the first two years of your child's life and how that care directly impacts the way your child responds to your instruction, direction and guidance (discipline). The term he constantly uses is "connected," being connected with your child. That connection in turn builds trust in you from your child and when there is complete trust, obedience is likely to follow easily. "The deeper the parent-child connection, the easier discipline will be." (The Discipline Book, p. 15).He elaborates on exactly how to build that firm foundation and "connection" with your child, and I will say, that it's the complete opposite of what most of the baby/child-rearing books that are popular these days. He's a big fan of attachment parenting and to be quite honest with you, since I haven't finished the book and haven't read up on the nitty gritty of attachment parenting, I cannot elaborate in detail at this time on that topic. (But if any of you would like to enlighten us, I know I'd enjoy hearing from you.) I will, however, be reading up on it in the months to come before my baby arrives, since Dr. Sears has pricked my curiosity. I feel like I am a fan of attachment parenting to a certain degree. However, there is a part of me that likes having a loose-schedule to my days and from what I know so far about A.P., it does not endorse "scheduling".

1.) I like this book. What makes me like this book so much is that it gives information and instruction in areas that just don't seem to be "popular" these days or at least in my area and amongst all the younger parents that I know.
2.) As with every book, I don't 100% agree with everything he says, but I do agree with and will try out most of the things he suggests.
3.) He describes the three styles of discipline and the pros and cons to each style. Read these excerpts and discern which style describes your family best. Again, I'm only including an excerpt, the description of each style, not the pros and cons to each.

• The Authoritarian Style: "The traditional way of disciplining, authoritarianism, focuses on parents as authority figures whom children must obey or face the consequences. This style regards discipline as something you do to a child, not a learning process you go through with a child." (The Discipline Book, p.2)
• The Communication Approach: "This philosophy teaches that communicative rather than punitive parenting is the way to discipline. Dissatisfaction with the authoritarian/punishment approach to discipline spawned several schools of discipline based on teaching parents how to better communicate with their children. Most of today's discipline books and classes are based on this approach. This philosophy suggests there are no bad children, just bad communication; and that children are basically good; parents juts have to learn how to listen and talk to them." (The Discipline Book, p.4)
• The Behavior Modification Approach: "Behavior "mod," as it is known, teaches that children's behavior can be influenced positively and negatively according to how parents structure their child's environment. If the child continues to hit other children even after you've given him all of the psychologically correct communication you can provide, you simply remove him from the group. Most children respond well to behavior modification; some regard the techniques as contrived. Although somewhat mechanistic in its approach (it's strikingly similar to training pets), behavior modification gives parents techniques, such as time-out, positive reinforcement, and the teaching of natural consequences, that can be called on when the authoritarian and communication approaches are not working. Behavior mod may be especially useful for children with emotional problems or difficult temperaments who don't respond to other methods. The trainer focuses on shaping behavior, conditioning the child without judging her. (The Discipline Book, p.4)
• The Attachment Approach: "Parents who rely on any of the three approaches to solve a discipline problem may find that their child's behavior improves, but only temporarily. Without a secure grounding in parent-child attachment, the other discipline approaches are merely borrowed skills, communication gimmicks, techniques that are grabbed from the rack and tried on in hopes of a good fit. None of these approaches incorporates the idea that discipline must be custom-tailored to the age and temperament of the child and to the personalities of the parents. Every family, every child, every situation is different, and parents must take all these things into account when they are working to correct their child's behavior. To do this, they must know themselves and know their child. We use the best from all of the three approaches outlined above, but only after going much deeper to construct a firm foundation: Discipline depends on building the right relationship with a child. " (The Discipline Book, p.5)

Interesting, isn't it? After I read these descriptions of these styles of discipline, I was excited to read what he had to say about the little things you do within the first two years of your child's life to build that "connection." Believe it or not, most of it happens from birth to one year, when most just think they their child is just "sleeping all the time." "How a mother and infant spend the first year together makes a difference, probably for the rest of their lives" (The Discipline Book, p. 16). Some of the things he touches on during that first year are: responding to your baby's cries (no CIO), breastfeeding, baby-wearing, sleep-sharing..etc.. Being a Pediatrician for almost thirty years, he instantly tell if a child was connected or not as soon as he walked into the door of the patient's room. He also goes on to compare the behaviors and competencies of a connected and unconnected child: "Infant/toddler behaviors, obedience, getting along with peers, in preschool setting, empathy/caring, problem-solving capabilities, self-worth/confidence, show of emotions, sense of right and wrong, adult outcome" (The Discipline Approach, p. 31).

Regretfully, I haven't finished this book, but I do hope that I was able to shine some light onto thrust of this book, so as to create some curiosity in you. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

Being Pure...Reigning and Releasing...Titus 2

When I first began studying this passage and I looked at the word “pure”, I thought, “Oh this will be easy…keep your mind pure, thoughts pure, be modest…no big deal…not a lot to say…should be a fairly short and easy post!” But as I began to pray over it, search the scriptures, and talk with my husband it was apparent that this one word, PURE, has so much depth and meaning for the Christian woman.

The King James word for pure is the word “chaste.” It sounds very old fashioned but the literal meaning is “to be faithful to their husbands.” At first glance for the Christian woman this doesn’t sound very difficult. Many times I think we think of being faithful as something like this: “I am faithful to my husband…I don’t cheat on him. I don’t really even look at other men. I mean, who has time to look at other men or cheat when I have all of these small children with me all of the time!?! But I would like to focus on two aspects of being faithful that many of us may not have thought about but are real issues in our world today.

“Reigning in of our thought life”
First, while some women may struggle with sexual lust, I don’t think it is the most common form of unfaithfulness to husbands. I do think that it can be more common for women to be unfaithful to their husbands in their thought life about aspects of other men. For example, have you ever thought, “Wow, I wish my husband were like that guy…I wish I were married to him!” While those thoughts are not an outward sin, they are a sin of the heart. When Jesus was teaching about purity in Mark 7 He says, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Another “sin of the heart” that also may come across outwardly is our motive for how we dress. Do you find yourself sometimes thinking, “I may see him…whoever “him” may be…maybe I should wear this or wear that so I can look better in front of him.” The simple truth of 1 Samuel 16:7 is relevant for the Christian woman: “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Adherence to a code of rules in itself not only fails to please God but it is of no value in restraining the flesh. Is your thought life in check? Do you desire aspects (personalities, traits, looks) of other men? Are you faithful to YOUR husband in your thought life? If not, confess that right now. Make your heart pure before a Holy God.

“Releasing ourselves sexually to our husbands”
Did you know that giving yourselves sexually to your husband is an act of purity? 1 Corinthians 7 discusses the topic of marriage. Right before that, in chapter 6:19 it says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Right after this passage, chapter 7 says, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband….do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL consent and for a time…so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control.”

It is an act of purity when we give ourselves with freedom sexually to our husbands. The “marriage bed” is a very private and intimate place just for husband and wife. While I do not believe that “outside” things such as pornography should be brought into a marriage to spice things up, I do think that couples should seek to be creative and spicey in their sex life. Ladies, men want action…men want spice….men want variety…men want you to be desirable. No man wants a “boring dummy” to lay there and take it. I once heard a woman say to me, “Well, if he needs it that bad he can take care of it himself in the shower!” When I heard her say that it really broke my heart. Sex is not for a man alone in the shower!!!!! Sex between a husband and wife is a holy thing. God designed it that way. While your sexual scale may not be as high as your husbands, God’s Word tells us that our bodies don’t belong to us alone. We are to give ourselves freely to our husbands. Do you find yourself making excuses to not have sex? Do you reject ideas of “spiceyness” that your husband may have? Do you have the attitude that he can “take care of himself in the shower?” If you struggle in this area, give it over to HIM. Ask God to make you desire your husband sexually. Be willing to try new things….step out on a limb and be creative! :)

Well, I have certainly stepped out on a limb for sure with this post but I have prayerfully considered every word and my desire is that we would all be chaste women, faithful to our own husbands, and desiring for our lives to bring ultimate Glory to God through that faithfulness in purity.

“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and PURE devotion to Christ.” 2 Cor. 11:3